Free What Goes Around: A chilling psychological thriller by Julie Corbin Page B

too interested in the details of the crime and I don’t think it’s healthy. There will always be the spectre of his father lurking at the back of my mind – but, while DNA loads the gun, surely it doesn’t have to fire it. Nurture is key and I am nurturing Alex as best I can.
    I sit back with my glass of wine and watch them both getting on at last. Tom is at his best when he is conversing about a subject he’s sure of (in this case, Scotland’s rugby team and their scrum tactics) and his enthusiasm is infectious. I admire successful men. That’s one of the things I know about myself – I couldn’t be with a man who wasn’t successful. Tom is at the top of his profession, a barrister in much demand who can name his price. Many of his cases are tried in London but he is powerful enough to make instructing solicitors and researchers come north of the border until the actual trial date.
    I believe romantic love is mostly transactional. We can all pretend otherwise. We can all wax lyrical about soulmates and one-man-for-one-woman and meant-to-be foolishness. We can all be teary-eyed when we hear of serendipity bringing lovers together. But truthfully, when it comes down to it, this belief is a deceit. Time wears away the unconditional aspects of romantic love until it becomes a simple equation of what each partner offers the other – sex, money, companionship, intellectual stimulation, social opportunities, friendship, loyalty, a shared life … and so on. The equation needs to be balanced. I speak as one who knows. I spent five years specialising in couples therapy and so I’ve seen how it pans out for people. There’s nothing worse than feeling consistently short-changed as the long march of year in and year out takes its toll.
    Tom offers me money – in the shape of this house, an annexe for me to practise in – and social opportunities. He has a large cast of friends that reads like a
Who’s
Who
of Edinburgh society. We go to events and he shows me off like a prize. He’s proud to have me on his arm and he isn’t threatened by the fact that I am able to hold my own with his, mostly male, friends.
    And what do I offer Tom? I offer him exciting sex and a shared life. It’s a cliché, but traditional men like Tom are mostly about their cock and their stomach. All the other good things that a woman might have to offer come as a bonus, not a necessity.
    I believe that for women, being sexy is a choice. Women withhold their sexiness because they feel the man doesn’t deserve them and I think that’s short-sighted. Play the long game, encourage him to try harder, tease him and make sure you’ve pre-positioned whatever you want in return, and that it’s ready to tip onto your lap. It’s about management and it’s about preparation. I’ve always used underwear, sex toys, hooker’s tricks – whatever it takes to keep a man’s interest until he has lost mine. My interest usually wanes first: I have never been left – I’ve aimed high but still I’ve never been left.
    Tom needs validation. He’s not a man who can ever be allowed to feel as if he’s being taken for granted. His ego is too fragile for that. And, in truth, he’s easy enough to please. His desires sit squarely in the middle of normal: a double shift – morning and evening sex, a willingness to give with enthusiasm, variety thrown in once a week. (No imagination required – sex manuals tell you everything you need to know.)
    This evening he’s in the mood to satisfy me, kissing, licking and sucking until he’s made me come, and then he falls asleep next to me, neatly, on his side. He’s always asleep in seconds and I envy him that. He is a man who, untroubled by his past, lives very squarely in the present. Me, on the other hand, I’m struggling to settle. Despite the evening going well, I’m concerned about Alex but I reassure myself that as long as I’m vigilant, he will be fine.
    My brother, though, I do worry about because I hate