Free One Heart to Give (Heart's Intent Book 1) by Dawn Brower Page B

next move was hers, and she had no clue what it should be. He left the ball in her court and waited for her to decide if she wanted him.
    Oh lord, did she ever…
    She’d wanted him her whole life. Now that she had a chance, she was afraid she’d fuck it up. The idea of having something more with Ren terrified her in ways nothing else had. If it didn’t last and it ruined something between them—she shook her head. That was her old way of thinking. When they were teenagers, she refused to be anything but friends with him for that very reason. The thought of losing him scared her. So she put up those walls to protect herself. It was too easy to fall back into that line of thought.
    The reality of losing Ren was something she was painfully familiar with. She’d walked away and didn’t look back. A life without him was her new normal. So she had to ask herself what she was really afraid of. She’d left him behind a long time ago, and she could live without him in her day to day life. Dani had managed to do it fairly well over the past decade. If she had to, she could go on and be all right without him, but she didn’t want to. She never had.
    Jessica had either lied to her or she’d miscarried and never told Ren. If she had to choose between those two options, she’d pick lied. It didn’t seem likely she’d have been pregnant and miscarried. Ren had only mentioned the one pregnancy which didn’t line up with what Jessica claimed back in high school. That was ten years ago, not two. She’d been jealous of Dani’s relationship with Ren. Jessica saw a way to get her out of the way and took it. When she got the chance she was going to confront the other woman. She wanted answers, and she deserved to know the truth. She’d left on the assumption Ren and Jessica were about to become parents. She hadn’t wanted to distract Ren from his new responsibilities. If she’d been a fool—well there was no turning back. There was no undoing the past. It would help her make a decision about her future though. She might be able to have it all if she wasn’t too afraid to reach out and take it. The hard truth smacked her in the face. It wasn’t losing him that scared her anymore. It was having him; all the promises of a wonderful future, and then having it ripped away from her. If she opened her heart to that possibility only to lose it—what if those dreams didn’t live up to her expectations? What if the reality was subpar to her fantasies? Would Ren be enough then?
    Dani dropped her head into the palm of her hands and sighed. The bigger question was, what the hell was wrong with her? Why did she have to overthink every little detail in her life? For once, why couldn’t she take a chance and see how something went. Because this was one of the biggest decisions she’d ever have to make in her life. Allowing herself to openly love Ren and accept she could be happy with him…that was daunting.  If they failed, it would break her, but if they didn’t—pure bliss would be the beginning of something more wonderful than she could ever imagine.
    She took a deep breath and pushed her worries out of her mind. A decision didn’t need to be made yet. Ren told her to keep an open mind. He wanted to get to know her all over again. Maybe she could do that and see where it led them. She did want to know him again and discover how he might have changed over the years. He was far from the boy she remembered. Still handsome, only he had the ability to turn her insides to mush.
    “Ms. Brosen?”
    Dani lifted her head from her hands and stared into Claire’s eyes. “Yes?”
    “Sorry to interrupt you, but Mr. Nettles is on line one.”
    Finally. The phone tag they’d been playing had become rather tedious. She had to put the man at ease. She had no idea why their permits were being blocked, but she intended to find out why. Mr. Nettles had some of the pertinent information she needed to figure everything out. She couldn’t proceed