Free Memoirs of a Dance Hall Romeo by Jack Higgins Page A

you want is a waste of time. Too many in the class anyway. Keep their heads down with plenty of written work. “Turn to page seventy-three and do the next twenty sums” are probably the finest words in the English language from the teacher’s point of view.
    ‘And Oliver,’ he called as I moved to the door. ‘Remember one thing. The welfare of the teacher is of paramount importance at all times.’
    Slater fractured his right leg in a rugby game the following Saturday. On Monday morning, Mr Carter announced that I would take over the top class until he was fit to return.
    It was a ridiculous decision in view of my lack of experience, but I took up the challenge bravely. Remembering Wally’s advice, I sorted through the stock cupboard and made certain that everyone had a copy of the relevant textbook in each subject and had signed for it. I was now able to tell them to turn to any page on any subject at the drop of a hat, and start writing.
    They didn’t like it and a kind of desperate resistance movement broke out. I managed to stem the flow of disappearing books by informing them, quite untruthfully, that any missing the following day would have to be paid for. I added darkly that, as they were city property, the police would call in person at their homes for the money. Which took care of that problem.
    Things took a nastier turn after that. Dog dirt in a neatly wrapped parcel which I found on my desk one day. Even worse, human excrement in a piece of newspaper was thrown at the blackboard when I had my back turned, narrowly missing me.
    I had no means of knowing the culprit, although Varley and Hatch seemed the obvious choices. There didn’t seem much I could do, for any kind of physical violence was out. As a probationer, I was not entitled to use corporal punishment during my first year.
    I made Varley and Hatch clean up the mess then announced that the entire class would have to stay in after four o’clock. This didn’t go down at all well for most of them had paper rounds or other jobs in the early evening.
    At afternoon break, Mr Carter sought me out and drew me into the privacy of his office. ‘I understand you intend to keep your class in after school?’
    ‘That’s right,’ I said. ‘Who told you?’
    He didn’t like that. ‘I make it my business to know what’s going on in my own school, Mr Shaw. Frankly, I think you’re quite mistaken in this matter. I don’t think we’ve any right to their time after four o’clock.’
    ‘Good God, man,’ I said. ‘Have you any idea what they did?’
    ‘To impose a penalty on the whole class because of something which arises out of your own lax discipline is something I will not tolerate, Mr Shaw.’
    He was seized by a paroxysm of coughing and I simply turned and walked out. Why I didn’t get my coat and keep on going I’ll never know. I was seeing Helen that night, which was something to look forward to, but I think it was more fundamental. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being beaten by a crew like that, and I was including Carter and his band of merry men as well as the boys.
    I had been humiliated and the class knew it. For the rest of the week discipline was terrible, and there were times when I gave up and let it all wash over me, emulating Johnson by sitting at the desk with my hands over my ears, reading a newspaper, while they did exactly as they pleased.
    Things in a sense came to a head on the following Monday morning, when I arrived at the class a few minutes late owing to a message, which proved to have no foundation in fact, that Carter wanted me. I should have been warned by the unnatural stillness as I approached the room. When I opened the door it fell down.
    There was a chorus of shocked gasps as I stepped across the door, mock horror on every face. ‘What have you done, sir?’ Varley enquired piously.
    I was as close to committing murder as I have ever been, but did not descend on him at once for the simple reason that rage