Alien Probe (An Erotic Short Story)

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Authors: Tiger Lily
smooth metal under my body.
    I was lying on my stomach on some kind of bench, or table. I wasn’t sure what yet. I tried to lift my arm to shield my face from the brightness but my arms felt heavy and difficult to move.
    “Give it time to wear off,” said a voice. “You’ll be awake again before you know it.” It giggled, which I thought was odd, but given the situation, nothing would surprise me now.
    I blinked a few more times, as a head poked above the top of the table, its large dark eyes staring at me, unblinking.
    I wanted to scream but my throat was dry, and all that came out was a weak whimper.
    “No need to be frightened,” it said. “It’s me. Smith. Remember?”
    Someone was playing a trick on me. Was this Jack or Paul’s idea of a joke? They had made the figure seemed so lifelike. I looked desperately around for strings, mechanics, or something else to explain what my eyes couldn’t.
    It stepped backward and I could see more if it. It had two arms, two legs, like a regular person, but this was definitely not a person. Its fingers were long and thin, about twice the length of a regular human hand and the end of each finger was round and bulbous, about the size of a large cherry.
    It wasn’t wearing any clothes, its skin, smooth with a hint of shimmer, like it had oiled itself with lotion.
    “You like?” it asked as it noticed me looking at it. It held its hands out and swayed from side to side. “I chose this colour, especially for you.”
    Colour. Then it was a costume, perhaps?
    “Grey.” It said. “Fifty shades of it actually. I’ve heard earth women like that.”
    I was sure this was a joke now. I looked around the room, searching for a camera, or something that would give the game away.
    It sighed. “I’d like to chat more. I love a good yarn, I really do. But I’m in a bit of a dilemma which I need your help with.”
    I stared at it blankly.
    “You see,” he continued, “I need you to have an orgasm. All in the name of science of course.” It held its hands up. “I know, you probably don’t do that on the first date.”
    Date? What was it talking about?
    “But I’ve left it a bit too long this time, and I’m almost out of fuel.”
    Huh?
    “So if we can get this moving, I’ll start the probing, and we’ll be on our way.”
    Probing? What? Shit. I attempted to get up of the table again, but was stuck, my limbs still heavy. I’d been drugged obviously. “Let me go. Please. I get the joke. But please don’t hurt me.”
    “Oh no. I won’t hurt you. I never hurt anyone.”
    “I can’t move. Let me go.”
    It sighed. “I don’t have much time. Otherwise, we’ll probably crash, and then we’d both be dead. I really need that orgasm.”
    “I don’t understand.”
    “Your orgasm. Orgasm’s fuel this ship. It’s how it runs. Clever, right?”
    “What?”
    “Anyway, I’d say we have about fifteen minutes before the ship crashes from space and we all die.”
    Space? Crashes? What?
    It walked to the side and wheeled a stainless steel trolley over to the table. It had a row of different metal implements. Some were long, some were thick. One was double ended.
    “What are you into?” He picked up clipboard. “I almost forgot , you’ll need to sign this first.”
    I shook my head. “What are you saying? We are flying in space, and this ship will crash unless I have an orgasm?”
    “Yes.” It smiled brightly at me. “I know it sounds unusual, but it’s perfectly reasonable. If kids laughter can power a whole monster town, then it doesn’t seem a stretch that orgasm could power my ship, could it?  Anyway, you’ve got it exactly. Now if you’ll just sign here and here.” He tapped a pen at two places on a form he held in front of me. “And hurry. Only fourteen minutes before we all die. Here, see for yourself.”
    He banged his fist on one wall and a screen appeared from nowhere, showing us hurtling through space toward a red planet in the distance. A clock in

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