Free Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin by Lotus Rose Page A

who usually sits to the the other side of the Dormouse.
    The Hatter seems to be steadying himself with one hand resting on the Dormouse while he holds a cup of tea in the other. He is blinking rapidly and bugging his eyes out in a most peculiar way.
    Alice, still feeling the effects of the spice, giggles at him.
    The Hatter says, “Oh, no! Not again. It is quite rude to attend a Tea Party twice! Rude to all the other attendants, you see! Perhaps come back some time when we have some seats available?”
    Alice looks around mockingly at the long table which has quite a number of empty chairs. She sees two custard pies just like the ones the Hatter had brought to the party resting on the table amongst all the fine china. She also notices that one of the chairs has been overturned, some of the cups knocked over, the table cloth seems crinkled and ruffled.
    Malice must have been here!
    Alice takes a seat across from the Hatter, knowing that it might be rude, but she is having a hard time balancing and focusing her eyes on the Hatter at the same time. He always looks mad, but he now appears madder than usual, and he has a long bleeding slash on his forehead.
    The Hatter proclaims, “I gave the heart to you like you wanted. It’s rude to only pretend to leave, don’t you think?” He turns to where the March Hare usually sits. “Oh, yes, that’s right,” he mutters.
    “What’s right?”
    “He ran off after you tussled with him, of course.”
    “I’m sorry, but that wasn’t me. You see, my reflection got separated from me, and well, she looks just like me, only my left side is on her right side, and vice versa. You know what I mean?”
    “Like the Tweedles? Great. Just what we need. More twins!”
    “Yes, so you gave her the heart?”
    “Yes, but she said she doesn’t know how to put it back in, whatever that means.”
    Because she doesn’t have the card.
    He sets down his tea cup. “Excuse me.” He slaps his face. “Get yourself together, man!” He’s talking to himself. “Have you gone mad?”
    Alice laughs. “I daresay you seem madder than usual.”
    “Well, of course, you—I mean she made me eat my hat! I have a question.”
    “Yes?”
    “Are you sure you weren’t just here? Maybe it’s some sort of double vision I’m having. Why, I see two of you right now. So if I saw you before is that quadruple vision? Or triple?”
    Alice is not about to try to figure out what that might mean. “I’m afraid that must just be your eyes. What do you mean, she made you eat your hat?”
    “Yes, she rudely burst into our private tea party and started making demands that we hand over the heart I legitimately got from Humpty. She fought with the March Hare, who ran off and she forced me to lick my hat. I protested. The wearing of my hats is no problem, but the licking of them is not at all good. Well, she said she would cut me if I didn’t do it. She had a razorblade. And well, what could I do? I’m not a fighter. I prefer to watch the action, rather than dirty my hands with it. Filthy stuff, that action is. Then she took off with the heart, and now I’m probably going to die.” He looks mournful.
    A bit of sweat rolls down his forehead, mixing with the blood of his wound. He seems to be sweating quite heavily.
    Alice says, “Just from licking your hat?”
    “Yes, well, she made me lick quite a lot, a lot more than usual. Usually I just bite the brim while I’m shaping my hats, and a wee bit of mercury and chemicals gets in, making me a wee bit mad. It’s quite inadvertent. I mean I don’t go around licking hats for no reason. Why that would be positively mad, don’t you think?” He’s trembling now.
    Alice says, “You don’t look well.” She can’t help but smile a little, but she has no burning desire to see the Hatter die out of revenge. The Hatter might have been rude at times, but he was more of a nuisance who never engaged in the completely horrible things that the others in Wonderland used