Free Being Me by Pete Kalu Page B

is she wearing a fur coat on a hot day? Maybe she’s rich and wants to show off. She’s got stubble. Stubble? I put a sprint on but she charges me to the floor. I kick her off me, helped by a shopping couple who think she’s an old lady who’s tripped over. I’m through the double doors. I glance back. Her wig’s off now. Crew cut haircut. It’s a man. Jeez. I step it up. I’m outside, running across the store’s front. Then bang!
    It’s the white-face statue man. He holds onto me like his life depends on it. I kick at him but his white sheet tangles my legs. Now the bloke in pearls has caught up and wallops me from the side. I’m down and they’re sitting on me. I wriggle but they’ve got me down good. I try and lose the iPod from my waistband as they drag me to my feet, but I can’t reach it. The crew cut has been joined by one of his mates with a walkie-talkie. They say thanks to the statue man who is kicking me in the ribs. He spits on me. They thank him again and show they understand by miming thumping me and spitting on me, then wave him away. He spits on me one last time.
    I’m allowed to my feet. They’ve got me tight by the arms and haul me back towards the store. I see Mikaela. She’s standing on the pavement by the corner of the store, hand over her mouth. MC’s right behind her, leaning on Cakes. They’re all watching. Why don’t they help me?

CHAPTER 13
THE DESPERADO OF DEEPEST CHEADLE
    The store detectives drags me into a small room. It’s got a desk, plastic chairs and no windows. They let go of my arms, push me into a chair and block the door by leaning against it. They don’t say anything.
    Which is kind of weird.
    There’s a knock. A woman comes in.
    ‘We are detaining you because we have reasonable grounds to believe you attempted an act of theft of an iPod,’ the woman says. She is burly, with blonde hair and a jaw that wobbles from side to side as she talks. She’s standing above me and little drops of spit land in my face as she talks, so I look down.
    ‘I now need to formally ask your permission to search you. If you refuse, we will detain you here until the police arrive and you will be searched anyway, possibly strip-searched. Do I have your permission to search?’
    I feel along the back of my trousers, take out the iPod and hand it to her.
    ‘One up to the old lady then!’ Pearls Guy says, making a fist and shaking it to the ceiling.
    ‘Wait till the end of the day, Playstation Kid is gonna race up the board,’ says his skinnier mate. I notice now that Pearls Guy’s mate does look a bit like one of the Anoraks who were playing on the consoles in Entertainment.
    Pearls Guy gets on his mobile to what sounds like the police.
    The woman says, ‘I’m back out, then.’
    ‘No,’ they both go, ‘it’s a female, you have to stay on.’
    ‘Does it matter?’ the woman says. ‘It’s all on camera.’ Her eyes tip upwards. I notice the little black dome in the top corner of the room. They don’t ask me any more questions but all three of them stay in the room with me.
    Playstation Kid goes, and then Pearls Guy and the woman talk about how to clip dogs’ toenails and whether the Canary Islands is any good as a holiday destination. Pearls Guy leans on the door as they chat.
    What-ifs and whys tumble around in my mind. What if Mikaela hadn’t missed Pearls Guy when she was turnstiling? What if MC and Mikaela hadn’t wound up Statue Man? (How did Statue Man even get there?) Why did he grab me when he didn’t before? What if all three of them, instead of watching as I got flattened outside the store, had actually helped me?
    There’s a knock on the door. A policeman in uniform comes in.
    ‘Only one then?’ he says, looking disappointed.
    ‘It’s all on camera,’ Pearls Guy replies. ‘We’ll bung you a tape.’
    I’m numb when the cop pulls me up off my seat. I’m led through the Perfume concessions, which has the Pouty Ladies all tutting, through the front