then and said, “We both wanted you.”
I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. But he told me.
“You’re the perfect alpha bitch, Tee. You don’t give a shit about anybody but yourself. You’ve got a raging crinos, and a pair of canines that make even the toughest bastards back down.”
Each thing he said felt like a kick in the head. A stomp on my heart.
His respect was all for my façade?
I was such a poser.
Before he could say any more, I said, “You already fucked me, Chaos. No flattery required. You want me to step up? I’ll step up.”
What I was really saying was tear my heart out a little more, you bastard. I’ll step up for the all out bitch back-attack right now. I hope someone rips my throat out tomorrow. No. Tonight.
Once an alpha male settled on a mate, the bitch fights would break out big-time. Everyone would want to show him how much better than me they were. It was a real turn-on for the males, and guaranteed to make him look even bigger when all the bitches started their catfights. You’d think it would all be going on before he picked somebody. But no, it doesn’t work that way. As long as we’re equals, it’s all cool, just fun. Does that make sense?
My death wish was back on. I asked, “Why don’t I change clothes and you can see just how bitchy I can be?”
I was feeling bitchy.
He surprised me, though, by saying, “I hate this.”
“Yeah. You and me both.”
I got up, stripped. There was no tease to it. No taunt. No...you want some of this?
At my closet, I stared, ass to him, thinking while fighting back tears, what do I want to die in?
He said, “I don’t want to go out, Tee.”
“You don’t want to show me off?” A razor-edged question if ever there was one. I didn’t look back. I knew he was staring into me. “You know,” I said, sniffing, “This, actually, is the answer to all my prayers.”
Why he’d been worried about me the night before when certain death was on my horizon, I didn’t stop to fathom. And I was pushing out the honesty of his “I hate you, too.”
“Son of a bitch.”
I turned to see him lean forward again, running both hands through his hair, grabbing fistfuls.
“What?” I put my hands on my hips, kind’ve spread my feet.
When he looked up at me, there was a definite soul-wrenching despair there. Like that wasn’t bad enough, he dropped the bottom right out of my heart when he said, “ I’m a son of a bitch.”
Now, it was Gaia’s honest truth. He was a son of a bitch, in more ways than one, but whatever he was talking about was ripping him up. And I could not read his mind.
But whatever was doing it to him brought out my true feelings for him .
I mean, I hesitated, tried to read his expression, tried to read his thoughts, but I didn’t even realize I’d stumbled toward him and fallen to my knees until I was there in front of him, looking up and putting my hands to his cheeks, asking, “What, Chaos?”
Chapter Twelve
I didn’t stop to think that he might be feeling like he double-crossed me. I mean, you only hurt the ones you love, right?
A little desperately, wanting to stop that scaring look of bereavement from marring his handsome face, I started kissing him, telling him over and over again as I kissed his eyes, his temple, and found his lips, “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”
“It’ll be okay.”
It was, you know, after that. From that point forward.
We realized that we could face anything together. That we could climb up into each other’s arms, if only for a few minutes at a time, and feel like we weren’t alone. So, it doesn’t really matter what came after that. Or what came before.
What I’m
I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. But he told me.
“You’re the perfect alpha bitch, Tee. You don’t give a shit about anybody but yourself. You’ve got a raging crinos, and a pair of canines that make even the toughest bastards back down.”
Each thing he said felt like a kick in the head. A stomp on my heart.
His respect was all for my façade?
I was such a poser.
Before he could say any more, I said, “You already fucked me, Chaos. No flattery required. You want me to step up? I’ll step up.”
What I was really saying was tear my heart out a little more, you bastard. I’ll step up for the all out bitch back-attack right now. I hope someone rips my throat out tomorrow. No. Tonight.
Once an alpha male settled on a mate, the bitch fights would break out big-time. Everyone would want to show him how much better than me they were. It was a real turn-on for the males, and guaranteed to make him look even bigger when all the bitches started their catfights. You’d think it would all be going on before he picked somebody. But no, it doesn’t work that way. As long as we’re equals, it’s all cool, just fun. Does that make sense?
My death wish was back on. I asked, “Why don’t I change clothes and you can see just how bitchy I can be?”
I was feeling bitchy.
He surprised me, though, by saying, “I hate this.”
“Yeah. You and me both.”
I got up, stripped. There was no tease to it. No taunt. No...you want some of this?
At my closet, I stared, ass to him, thinking while fighting back tears, what do I want to die in?
He said, “I don’t want to go out, Tee.”
“You don’t want to show me off?” A razor-edged question if ever there was one. I didn’t look back. I knew he was staring into me. “You know,” I said, sniffing, “This, actually, is the answer to all my prayers.”
Why he’d been worried about me the night before when certain death was on my horizon, I didn’t stop to fathom. And I was pushing out the honesty of his “I hate you, too.”
“Son of a bitch.”
I turned to see him lean forward again, running both hands through his hair, grabbing fistfuls.
“What?” I put my hands on my hips, kind’ve spread my feet.
When he looked up at me, there was a definite soul-wrenching despair there. Like that wasn’t bad enough, he dropped the bottom right out of my heart when he said, “ I’m a son of a bitch.”
Now, it was Gaia’s honest truth. He was a son of a bitch, in more ways than one, but whatever he was talking about was ripping him up. And I could not read his mind.
But whatever was doing it to him brought out my true feelings for him .
I mean, I hesitated, tried to read his expression, tried to read his thoughts, but I didn’t even realize I’d stumbled toward him and fallen to my knees until I was there in front of him, looking up and putting my hands to his cheeks, asking, “What, Chaos?”
Chapter Twelve
I didn’t stop to think that he might be feeling like he double-crossed me. I mean, you only hurt the ones you love, right?
A little desperately, wanting to stop that scaring look of bereavement from marring his handsome face, I started kissing him, telling him over and over again as I kissed his eyes, his temple, and found his lips, “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”
“It’ll be okay.”
It was, you know, after that. From that point forward.
We realized that we could face anything together. That we could climb up into each other’s arms, if only for a few minutes at a time, and feel like we weren’t alone. So, it doesn’t really matter what came after that. Or what came before.
What I’m
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