Free Brave Hearts by Carolyn Hart Page B

upon Spencer’s skills, not his family.
    He was smiling, too. It is odd, Catharine thought, how little we know one another. Spencer assumed she was happy because of his advancement.
    He reached out and squeezed her shoulder. She realized it was the first time Spencer had touched her in a long, long time. He beamed at her. “You are a good wife, Catharine. The ambassador was worried that you might not be willing to go, but I told him there wouldn’t be any problem.”
    Catharine felt a sudden, terrible emptiness. She listened to Spencer’s bright, happy words, and her own happiness drained away as water seeps from a cracked vase.
    â€œOf course, you’d come with me. You’ve always come, and this time it’s essential. Winant said the Filipinos mustn’t feel there’s any danger of the Americans pulling out on them. As the ambassador said, what can be more reassuring than for diplomatic personnel to bring their families with them.”
    â€œThe ambassador especially wanted to know if I would come?”
    He heard the constraint in her voice. He looked at her sharply. “Yes. It’s imperative, Catharine.”
    She stared at him, her face pale but composed. For an instant, happiness had seemed within reach. Images whirled in her mind, of Jack, his face dark with anger, of Spencer, sleek and satisfied, absorbed in the excitement of his future.
    If she went to Manila, she would close the door on the only happiness she’d ever known. It had been such a short spell of happiness, days snatched out of fear, brief moments filled with life and love.
    Spencer needed her.
    Jack loved her.
    But Spencer needed her. He didn’t have Charles. He didn’t have her love. All he had was his career.
    She knew Spencer didn’t love her, but could she shrug away his long-ago kindnesses to her in Paris when they first met, his gentleness after Charles’s death that brought her back from black despair, and all the skeins of commitment between a man and a woman, whether they were in love or not? If Charles were alive, everything might be different, but Charles was dead and Spencer had nothing left but his career.
    Deep inside, she heard her own cry of need. She would have nothing, nothing at all. With Jack there was life and the beginning of true healing with her willingness once again to love.
    Catharine lifted her chin. “Of course, I’ll come, Spencer.” She heard herself speak as if from a long distance and marveled at how easy the words sounded, how simple. There was nothing in her tone to suggest that her heart was breaking. Oh, Jack, Jack!
    Spencer heaved a sigh of relief. “God, Catharine, you had me worried there for a minute.” He smiled again, his good humor restored. “I know Manila sounds like to hell and gone, but this will only be the beginning. If I handle this one right, there’ll be no stopping me.” Then he glanced at his watch. “Look, Catharine, I’ve got a million things to see to, but I didn’t want to spring this on you over the phone.” He glanced around the apartment living room at the rented furniture. “I never thought I’d be glad we didn’t have anything, but it’s going to make our move a lot simpler.” He gave a half-laugh.
    She nodded numbly.
    â€œSo you can be ready to leave in the morning, can’t you?”
    â€œIn the morning?” Her voice rose.
    Spencer grimaced. “I know, it’s short notice, but we’re very important, Catharine. They’ve squeezed us onto a convoy that leaves tomorrow night. Isn’t that something?”
    â€œYes. Yes, Spencer, that’s really very impressive.”
    He was Spencer again, controlled, intense, but with the new, vital excitement flaring just beneath the surface. His face spread in a wide grin. “Dammit, Catharine, I still have trouble believing it. Me, a special envoy.” He shook his head a little.