how many girls have fallen head over heels with a fictional character before, but I know I can’t be the only one and I stand by them proudly and declare: I will not settle for anything less!
I could go on about The Hardest Fall, and how it changed my life- how it ripped out my heart then showed it to me before I died; how fantastically talented the author is and how creative she is… but it’s all moot. It’s Ryan I want to talk about. Ryan I think about, and Ryan who has hijacked every train of thought I’ve ever have and could have again.
It’s not just that he’s beautiful, though he is so delicious that every word used to describe him practically shimmers on the page, and it’s not just that he’s sweet and kind and funny and sexy and witty and oh my GOD did someone turn up the heat in here?!
No, all of those things count, but it’s the little things that have stolen my heart: he knows that he’s beautiful and yet he credits the brightness of his smile and the shine in his eyes to her, like he’d fade without her attention. It’s the way that, even when he’s mad at her and so jealous that he can barely see straight, that he refuses to part ways with her because she’d rather be hurt by her, than not be around her at all. It’s the way he plans out his seductions and tells her straight up what he’s going to do to her and makes her wait for it. It’s the way he ties her up so that he can pleasure her, but releases her once she’s taken care of so that she won’t for a second; feel bound to return the favor. It’s the way he listens to old-fashioned music for the heart, but rocks it for his soul. It’s the way he does every little thing he can to prove that he loves her- whether it be to humour her by adopting the stray dog she felt sorry for, instead of the purebred he set out to buy, or putting her sugar in her coffee for her. It’s the way he can act like a rock-god but keep his house as neat as a pin and romantic too, and it’s the way he throws ridiculous tantrums and then shuffles in after, all embarrassed and needing to be around her, even though he’s still hurt or pissed, and it’s the way he never, ever lets her out of his sight if he can help it, unless it’s clear that she needs to be alone and then, he accommodates those wishes too.
Ryan loves Kylie more than he loves himself. No one in the world loves anyone more than they love themselves, unless it’s their kid or something, but he does. I know people are going to be hurt by the ending, and don’t get me wrong- it shattered me. But I’ve made my peace with it because Ryan was more than a third of a love triangle in this story- he was the heart. He was the beauty. He was more important than the protagonists, and if I’m ever lucky enough to find a man like him, and learn of him making a similar sacrifice for me, well, I’d end our story by going over the falls after him, because I’d love him the way he needed to be loved.
Kylie couldn’t. She was wonderful, as was Justin, but neither were worthy of him in the end. I’m so happy that they get to be together, and that I get to comfort myself in the knowledge that I’ve found my soul mate, even if I never get to feel his arms around me.
Thank you, Kathryn Praser for giving me Ryan. I’ll keep him safe in my heart forever!
Six
N aturally, Bruce was busting to know every sordid detail concerning Leigh’s argument with Ryan, but she begged for stay of execution and so, for the duration of the drive home, Bruce regaled her with excerpts from his relationship with Paisley, not only filling the awkward silence, but also making Leigh feel like less of a drama magnet by comparison.
Apparently, Paisley really had been a flirt- the kind of girlfriend who seemed to want nothing to do with being a girlfriend outside of having a guaranteed escort and card on Valentine’s Day. She’d attended courses at a local college and had been so hard up for time that Bruce rarely had the