Free Totem by E.M. Lathrop Page B

know someone better. Where our relationship would go, I had no idea. Something inside me though made me lean towards friendship, but still there was a part of me that questioned if something greater could ever come about. I pondered the two options as I drove back to our campus.

Chapter 4: What are you doing after class?
     
                  Michelle kept revisiting the double date time and time again throughout the week. It was a fall back topic when we had nothing else to talk about. She tried to blame her new obsession on me, but I knew it is her uncertainty with Daniel that brings it to the forefront. Just the thought that they tried to set me and Jake up even though the whole time there was some ulterior motive made me smile whenever I think about it. To a degree, it did work. Jake and I have become closer and text all the time. We even had lunch together. It is nice getting to know a new person. What makes it nice is because it is Jake. He is easy to talk to. He is just comfortable. There is no other way to describe it.
                  Now here I stand Thursday morning on a volleyball court listening to Michelle obsess about Saturday for what feels like the hundredth time. I roll my eyes as she talks freely even though the game has begun. Secretly I wish we were on opposite teams today.
                  “I just don’t know what that kiss meant,” states Michelle as she finally finishes her sentence. It is a sentence set on repeat for the past five days.
                  “Michelle,” I begin my lecture then suddenly stop. “No, you know what? Screw him.”
                  Michelle’s expression is priceless. For once, I did not care what came out of my mouth as the blood boiled up inside of me. I remove the filter that I had been working so hard to keep in place these last few weeks and let it all out.
                  “You have been complaining about this since our double date on Saturday and I am tired of it. I am tired of it because you are a strong, beautiful young woman. So what if Daniel didn’t text more than twice this week. He is stacked up on classes trying to graduate early. So what if you guys had a hot kiss. There are plenty of guys who would jump at the chance to be in Daniel’s position and if he can’t appreciate or make time for what he has in front of him. Then screw him. Kick him to the curb.”
                  Resolved in my bold answer, I rotate leaving Michelle on the front row puzzled and pondering. I have tried lulling Michelle hoping she would stop talking about Daniel but that did not work. Tough love it will have to be. Hopefully she gets the point.
                  I grab the ball and head back to my spot still fuming from my brief soap box stance on Daniel and Michelle. The little streak of Irish in me had come out and I feel my cheeks turning red as I try to cool down. I yell out the score before hitting the ball sending it over the net. In the brief time it took the ball to travel in the air, I scan our opponents for the day. I look for Ty’s handsome face out of the crowd. It was now a programmed response for me. 
                  However, most of the time, when I look for him, he is not staring directly back at me. I meet his eyes as he shoots me an award winning smile making my insides melt. Someone on the other side hits the ball, but I am not paying attention. I am frozen on the spot caught in his gaze as I return his smile.  He nods his head at me then breaks our gaze as he hits the ball up in the air. With his stare no longer holding me in place, I am free to move once more.
                  Why does he affect me so? It is a question that has no answer. The only slight answer I can give to it is lust. I am infatuated with this man and it is my first case of hardcore infatuation. Each time I see him, I long for his touch, but it is all physical. I did not