we had been alone together, it felt like there was more he wanted to tell.
When he turned and waved back at us, Audra understood; she caught up to me, her face flashing for a moment under a streetlight, smiling.
âNow itâs all starting,â she said. âNow we can get going.â
âWhere?â I said.
âFar away,â she said. âFar from any city. Iâll take care of you.â
âI thought you left me behind,â I said.
âIâll always take care of you,â she said. âNo one else can calm you down.â
We walked in silence, across a schoolyard. Ahead, Henry turned to check on us, then kept going, deeper into a neighborhood.
âDid you bring your pills?â Audra said.
âNo,â I said. âI havenât taken them for a long time. Actually, I havenât feltââ
âYouâll feel better, now,â she said. âAnd if it happens again, what happens to you, you can always hold on to me, do whatever you need to do. Henry, too. He knows. He understands. I told him all about you.â
âWhat did you tell him?â
âAt first he wasnât sure, Iâm the only one he wanted. But when I told him about you, when he saw you, he changed his mind. He says weâll only really know whatâs going on once those chemicals are out of your system, once we get you away from all thisââ She waved her hands at the parked cars, the houses around us.
I tried to touch Audraâs hand, but when I reached out she didnât see.
âHow did you meet him?â I said.
âHe came looking for me,â she said. âHe needs me.â
âFor what?â
âFor everything,â she said. âTo help him. To go with him, back where heâs from.â
âAlaska?â
âWho told you that?â
âI read it, in the blue notebook, when you were out.â
âHeâs from way out in the wilderness,â she said. âOn the edge of the ocean. Thatâs where weâll all be, and weâll live like weâre supposed to, without all this plastic and cars and billboards and everything else.â
With that she moved quickly away, catching up to Henry. The two of them moved like shadows, dark overlapping silhouettes. A dog barked, behind a fence. Lights in windows switched off, people going to bed.
We came to a thicket of trees, up above the river. Down below, near the old train tracks, was a bonfire, the orange flames and the dark shapes of people and bicycles around it, a dog sniffing back and forth. Henry waved to me, and I hurried to be closer to them.
âRemember,â he was saying, âlet me do the talking. This is one of the last things we need to do, and it doesnât have to get complicated.â
We followed him, half walking and half sliding downthe slope, then came out of the trees at the bottom, together as we approached the fire.
âKeep to yourself,â Audra said to me. âTell me right away if anyone tries anything. Just stand by yourself while we do this.â
Faces looked up, glowing and flickering. A dog rushed at us, sniffed my hand, slipped away. There were more than ten, less than twenty, people around the fire. Some had their shirts off, and some had tattoos on their faces, stretched-out earlobes. Some held pieces of bikes, cans of beer.
âHenry!â one shouted. âWhere you been?â
Some of them started talking to each other, about Henry or about us, but I couldnât hear what they were saying. I stepped closer to the fire, not looking at anyone, staring into the flames. It was nice to feel warm, the front of my body all lit up and my muscles not so tight.
Henryâs hands were up in the air, as he explained what he needed to explain, as he pointed back at me. He and Audra were close, just a little ways away. They were talking to two men where a cluster of people were standing.Little flames, lighters,