chucked it in the air, caught it and shoved it into his pocket. "But there is work to be done, old lad, and you will find that this is a military outfit, too-a real one. Personally, I've had my fill of spit-and-polish and I don't care if I never again hear that 'Sound off' and 'Officers, center!' and 'Watchman, what of the night?' manure again. The brethren will make full use of our best talents-and the fight really matters."
Master Peter van Eyck came to see me a couple of days later. He sat on the edge of my bed and folded his hands over his paunch and looked at me. "Feeling better, son?"
"I could get up if the doctor would let me."
"Good. We're shorthanded; the less time a trained officer spends on the sick list the better." He paused and chewed his lip. "But, son, I don't know just what to do with you."
"Eh? Sir?"
"Frankly, you should never have been admitted to the Order in the first place-a military command should not mess around with affairs of the heart. It confuses motivations, causes false decisions. Twice, because we took you in, we have had to show our strength in sorties that-from a strictly military standpoint-should never have happened."
I did not answer, there was no answer-he was right. My face was hot with embarrassment.
"Don't blush about it," he added kindly. "Contrariwise, it is good for the morale of the brethren to strike back occasionally. The point is, what to do with you? You are a stout fellow, you stood up well-but do you really understand the ideals of freedom and human dignity we are fighting for?"
I barely hesitated. "Master-I may not be much of a brain, and the Lord knows it's true that I've never thought much about politics. But I know which side I'm on!"
He nodded. "That's enough. We can't expect each man to be his own Tom Paine."
"His own what?"
"Thomas Paine. But then you've never heard of him, of course. Look him up in our library when you get a chance. Very inspiring stuff. Now about your assignment. It would be easy enough to put you on a desk job here-your friend Zebadiah has been working sixteen hours a day trying to straighten out our filing system. But I can't waste you two on clerical jobs. What is your savvy subject, your specialty?"
"Why, I haven't had any P.G. work yet, sir."
"I know. But what did you stand high in? How were you in applied miracles, and mob psychology?"
"I was fairly good in miracles, but I guess I'm too wooden for psychodynamics. Ballistics was my best subject."
"Well, we can't have everything. I could use a technician in morale and propaganda, but if you can't, you can't."
"Zeb stood one in his class in mob psychology, Master. The Commandant urged him to aim for the priesthood."
"I know and we'll use him, but not here. He is too much interested in Sister Magdalene; I don't believe in letting couples work together. It might distort their judgments in a pinch. Now about you. I wonder if you wouldn't make a good assassin?"
He asked the question seriously but almost casually; I had trouble believing it. I had been taught-I had always taken it for granted that assassination was one of the unspeakable sins, like incest, or blasphemy. I blurted out, "The brethren use assassination? "
"Eh? Why not?" Van Eyck studied my face. "I keep forgetting. John, would you kill the Grand Inquisitor if you got a chance?"
"Well-yes, of course. But I'd want to do it in a fair fight."
"Do you think you will ever be given that chance? Now let's suppose we are back at the day Sister Judith was arrested by him. Suppose you could stop him by killing him-but only by poisoning him, or knifing him in the back. What would you do?"
I answered savagely, "I would have killed him!"
"Would you have felt any shame, any guilt?"
"None!"
"So. But he is only one of many in this foulness. The man who eats meat cannot sneer at the butcher-and every bishop, every minister of state, every man who benefits from this tyranny, right up to the Prophet himself, is an accomplice before the
Elizabeth Ann Scarborough