Free Away From the Sun by Jason D. Morrow Page B

say. “First of all, we don’t even know that a fight is coming. Jeremiah might just be trying to scare us.”
    “Maybe,” Gabe says. “I thought about that too, but I can’t see how scaring us into action would benefit him. I think he really wants to kill Shadowface, and he has just figured out how. Maybe he’s happy that Shadowface will be here.”
    “Do you think we should tell Paxton about Evie?”
    “I don’t know. They aren’t going to let us.”
    “They can’t tell us what to do,” I snap. “Besides, it’s not like you can just stay here anyway. Paxton’s going to think you’re dead if you don’t go back soon.”
    “I know.”
    “That is…if you care. Do you want to go back?”
    Gabe takes a deep breath. “Crestwood has been my home for a while now. I’ve grown to like it. To care for the people. I can’t see myself forsaking it altogether.”
    “But it isn’t what you thought it was,” I say. I reach a hand out and cover his with mine. At first, he doesn’t move, but then his fingers start to wrap around mine. “I’m going to stay here,” I say. “My sister is here, and I think it would be crazy to leave her right now. It’s also hard for me to justify telling Paxton about Evie. I mean, Lydia really is her mother. She has been there for her since day one.”
      A long moment passes between us. I don’t know what I’m doing holding his hand, pretending that I care for him. I mean, I guess I’m not pretending, but I can’t fall for Gabe. Not right now. Not ever. It would be stupid.
    Remember the last time you loved someone? I think. He saw the red and yellow smoke and he left. He went away. And now you know he’s gone forever. Waverly confirmed that it’s the same Gilbert. Do you want to go through that again?
    I let go of Gabe’s hand and get up from the table.  
    “Where are you going?” he asks.  
    “I need to lie down. To think.”
    He nods at me and offers a sympathetic smile. Neither one of us knows what to think. We don’t know how to act. Because of his readiness to declare his love for me the other day, we now have to be awkward around each other. It’s a rule, I guess. I start to walk away, but stop when a thought hits me.
    No. I’m not going to let it be this way. I’m not the kind of person to just let things sit under the surface for a long time. I’ve got to put it all out there.
    I’m at the door when I turn around to look at him.  
    “You told me that you love me,” I say. “It’s proof that I’m not crazy and am one of these Starborn people.”
    His face turns red and he looks away.  
    “Love hasn’t really worked out for me, you know that?”
    “I don’t,” he says.  
    “People die in this world. Everyone you meet has a high chance of dying before old age. That means, if I let myself fall for you, I’m going to get my heart broken again. That, or you will get yours broken when I’m bitten or eaten, or whatever.”
    “I don’t see why it has to be a big deal,” Gabe says. “I told you that I love you because that is how I feel. Ignoring it, or giving in doesn’t change anything. If the feelings are there, then they are there. I’m surprised to see you fight it so much. I could make a counter argument. Life is statistically shorter. Might as well get as much love in there as possible before we go.”
    “Do you know how unattractive you just made love sound?” I say. I can’t help but smile, because he’s looking at me with a wry grin.  
    He shrugs. “So what. I love you. If you don’t feel the same, I understand. I don’t need love. It’s just nice.” He stands from the table and walks toward me.  
    I stand a little straighter when he gets within inches of me. He reaches out and grabs my arms, leans in and kisses me on the forehead. My heart is pounding wildly. I want to reach up and pull him to me. I don’t even want to kiss him. I know it’s stupid, but I want him to hold me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me