Free Bad as in Good by J. Lovelace Page B

slightly trembled at the melody her oohs and ahs made as she came. She fell limp to her peak. I slowly slid out of her and pulled up my pants.
    â€œI’ma call you later,” I said as I ran for the door.
    â€œI love you,” she whispered.
    Before I had a real opportunity to answer, I let the door close behind me as I proceeded to my car.
    I was wrong, but I had to do what I had to do. I did feel guilty. Even though I never confirmed my exclusivity to her, she had the right to assume that she was my only woman. And expressing hertrue emotions in the midst of my haste was her prerogative. However, her sense of the title of “Tariq’s woman” spanned way beyond what I was willing and ready to give her. Unfortunately, in my refusal to give her the treatment she deserved, she was forced to fill in the blanks that I left with my avoidance, denial, and missed phone calls. Nevertheless, I couldn’t ignore the fact that my original intentions with her hadn’t changed; rather, I didn’t want them to change. By now I would have been on to the next; yet, I was still there. Our consistency allowed her the option to sneak into my subconscious at night and get me daydreamin’ ‘bout her. I often fantasized about her lips, her voice, and her presence. She had me breakin’ all the rules, and I was doing everything in my power to refuse it. Nevertheless, Simoné was nothing if not persistent, and it was a turn-on that I couldn’t deny. My original intentions were not to settle down but keep her in the rotation. Hence, I’ve achieved my goal. Still, she wanted more, and I tried not to give it to her. According to her, she loved me; unfortunately for her, I didn’t want to reciprocate.

CHAPTER 12
Erin
Present…
    The thing between Tariq and me was complicated. We became each other’s drug, and damn if it ain’t feel good to get high off him. However, I couldn’t keep playin’ the fool, especially with a man I had no business playin’ with.
    â€œAre we ever goin’ to talk about your wife, Tariq?”
    He dropped his boyish smile. At first, he was playfully tickling my stomach, trying to go for round two, as we lay naked in my bed at two in the morning. Then, he rested his back on my headboard and chewed on his bottom lip. “You had to kill the mood, huh?”
    I sat up and put on my robe. “Tariq, we have to discuss your marriage at some point.”
    â€œDoes it have to be right now?”
    â€œIf not now, then when?”
    He shrugged his shoulders. “Is it even important? I ain’t even tryna get into all that right now.”
    I yanked off my covers. “Then you need to leave.”
    I stood up and pointed at my front door. I ran the risk of ending a very beneficial sexual relationship, but I had to do what was best for me emotionally. It felt good to feel him inside of me, but it felt worse to watch him leave. I was left with sticky thighs and a head full of questions. I was tired of crying over a man that didn’t belongto me. I would miss his company, but I had to respect the woman that stared back at me in the mirror.
    â€œIt’s like that?”
    â€œYou’re not gonna play me like I’m the fool in all this. You had me jump out yo’ damn window, Tariq, while your wife stood in your living room. Then, I don’t hear from you in a month. So, yes, it’s like that.”
    He was lying there staring at me. I wanted badly to hear what had been going through his mind. Was he secretly laughing at my Waiting to Exhale moment? Here I was thinkin’ we might have had something going when all he wanted was a quick nut. I wondered if he was he truly hurt by my dismissal. Could he have actually fallen for me after countless nights of dry kisses and sweaty embraces?
    He turned his head and got out of bed. “All right, then.”
    We didn’t exchange any more words. He put on his clothes and walked