Free A Bridge to the Stars by Henning Mankell Page A

doorway, waiting. His dad wiggles
his toes and thinks.
    'He was an inventor, I think. And a painter. A long
time ago. He knew everything. He invented cannons and
aeroplanes long before anybody else.'
    'I'm going to be like him.'
    'Nobody can be like him. You can only be who you are.'
    'Why did you never become a captain?'
    'I didn't have any schooling. I just had my hands.
That means you can only be an Able Seaman.'
    Joel thinks he ought to tell him to stop wiggling his
toes. Stop smiling, stop humming sea shanties. But he
just stands in the doorway and says nothing.
    'I'll go back to my room, then,' he says.
    His father doesn't answer. He's closed his eyes and is
humming a tune.
    If he's lying there thinking of Sara, I'm off, Joel
thinks. If he brings her home one more time, I'm getting
out of here.
    He will need to find out where his mother lives. He'll
have to ask his dad about that. It's the most important of
all the questions currently occupying his mind. He
wishes it was the only thing he had to worry about. Most
of the time nothing at all happens, he thinks, but just
now far too much is happening that he needs to think
through. It gets more difficult to cope with life for every
year that passes, he thinks. Not the least difficult thing is
understanding grown-ups, understanding his father.
    He wishes he could creep into Samuel's head and sit
down in the middle of all his thoughts. Then he would
be able to compare what his dad says with what he
actually thinks.
    Perhaps being a grown-up means not saying what you
really think.
    Or knowing which lies are least dangerous. Learning
to avoid untruths that can too easily be found out . . .
    He takes his alarm clock into bed with him and wraps
it inside a sock before placing it under his pillow, next to
his ear. Then he switches off the light.
    When Samuel sees that, he won't come in and sit on
the edge of Joel's bed. He'll simply close the door and
go to his own room.
    It's easy to fool grown-ups, he thinks. Just because
you've switched the light off, they think you're asleep.
    What he would really like, in fact, is for his father to
come and sit on his bed even so. Sit down and tell him
about Jenny without Joel having to ask first.
    It's hard to settle down to sleep. The alarm clock is rubbing
against his ear. He shudders at the thought of having
to get dressed in a few hours' time and go out into the night.
He wonders what it is that Ture is going to show him.
    Create fear, he said. What does he mean by that?
    Joel tosses and turns. The alarm clock is irritating
him, and he has to check and make sure he hasn't
accidentally switched it off.
    He needs to do a lot of thinking about Ture.
    Having met him is both a good thing and a bad thing.
Good that he's going to run away in a week's time
because Joel has said various things that can be found out
as untrue. But at the same time, it's a bad thing that he will
no longer be around. It's good having a nobleman as a
friend. A nobleman who is older than Joel.
    He thinks about the enormous flat. He pictures himself
in all the different rooms. Looking at the paintings
and books, walking on the soft carpets.
    But when he comes to the suit of armour, he stops dead.
    Now he's on his own, Ture is no longer in his
thoughts, and he can put on the armour with no risk of
being found out. Last of all he closes the visor.
    Now he's on a battlefield somewhere.
    Miss Nederström has told them that it was always
misty when knights in armour rode into battle.
    Now he's mounting his steed, the magnificent stallion
he's seen at Mr Under's, the horse dealer. The black
horse with the white patch under his right eye. Somewhere
in the distance, invisible in the mist, the enemy is
waiting . . .
    He gives a start when Samuel opens the door.
    It takes a long time to build up a good dream, but all
it needs is for his dad to take hold of the door handle,
and it's all gone.
    He pretends to be asleep.
    Samuel closes the door gently.
    He usually listens for