Free How To Steal a Car by Pete Hautman Page A

in a hundred dollars a month. When I was thirteen and started needing money desperately, my dad agreed to increase his contribution to my future. I now have more than twenty thousand dollars I can’t touch and a hundred bucks a month that I usually spend in like five days.
    I had made several attempts to negotiate my allowance upward. I even threatened to get a part-time job, which would probably interfere with my schoolwork. My dad called my bluff and said he thought it was a good idea, so I went out and applied for jobs at Macy’s, Starbucks, and Jamba Juice. Macy’s and Starbucks said no. The guy at Jamba Juice offered me a job, but the hours sucked and it was very minimum-wageish, so I decided to make do with my hundred a month plus the birthday money I always got from Grandpa John and a few other little driblets of cash like from selling my old bicycle to Jamie Weiss and emergency babysitting for my aunt Tessa’s two preschoolers, which was not worth the money but I kind of had to do it.
    Basically I was trying to live on about fifteen hundred dollars a year, which is pretty pathetic. It made me wonder how much a good car thief made. I would have to ask Deke if I ever ran into him again. Just out of curiosity, of course.
    The thing about shopping is that even if you shop with no intention of buying anything at all, it is nice to have money so that you know if you happen to come across some amazing bargain or the perfect pair of shoes, you can buy if you want. But with only three dollars in my purse, I was not having much fun at DSW.
    Jen was trying on everything in the store. I hadn’t said anything to her about how I was mad at her because every time my mouth wanted to bring it up it sounded really lame. I mean, except for screaming in my ear she hadn’t actually done anything wrong. So I just moped around the store, trying on shoes I hated, and some I didn’t hate but couldn’t afford, while Jen went up and down the aisles as if she was training for the Olympics speed-shopping event.
    And guess what. She found her elf boots. In the one-of-a-kind clearance racks. They were pearl gray, her third-favorite color. Marked down 70 percent to $38.99.
    They fit her perfectly.
    “It’s a miracle,” she said.
    I was raging jealous, especially when she paid for them with her mom’s credit card. I might have said something nasty if I could have thought of anything, but I was rendered speechless by the unfairness of it all. Then Jen took me out to Sammy Wong’s for spring rolls and firecracker shrimp—also on her mom’s card. I couldn’t stay mad at her.
    I am such a total bitch inside for some reason, even though mostly I don’t show it. But the things I think—sometimes I’m surprised they don’t just claw their way out through my skin.
    Walking home from the bus stop, I saw Jim Vail. He was running down the sidewalk—running as in exercising—but he stopped when he saw it was me.
    “Hey. Kelleigh Monahan,” he said, dripping sweat and trying to control his breathing.
    “Hi,” I said. “How was Taylors Falls?”
    “Fun!” He dragged a sweaty hand across his sweaty brow. “Only we lost Jen.” He laughed weakly. “I suppose you heard about that?”
    “Yeah, I had to go pick her up.”
    “Oh. So she’s okay and everything?” I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not because he was already red in the face from running.
    I was thinking, Why didn’t you call her to find out? But I didn’t say that. I didn’t really want him to call her, because if he was a nasty drunken almost-rapist I didn’t want him anywhere near my best friend…unless it had just been a misunderstanding and he was really a nice guy like I’d thought before. Then maybe I wanted him for myself. Someday.
    “She’s fine,” I said.
    “We’re selling the puppies this week,” he said. “You still want one?”
    “You mean buy one?”
    “Sure—what did you think? They’re worth four hundred bucks each.”
    “I don’t