Free Crappily Ever After by Louise Burness Page B

shop look at us curiously.
    ‘Now, lunch,’ states Jess and we head to our local to chill out and discuss which of our new purchases we will wear tonight. As Jess hurries back from the bar, with two glasses of Pinot Grigio, she pushes my head down to near table level.
    ‘Stay there,’ she hisses.
    She rummages in my River Island bag and chucks a pair of boot-cut jeans and a slinky top at me. She takes off her skyscraper heels and throws the lot in a carrier along with my makeup bag.
    ‘Toilet, now!’ she orders. ‘And don’t come out ‘til you’d make Kate Moss look like a complete dog.’
    ‘Eww, gross! I’m not putting on “still warm” shoes. Reminds me of that time we went bowling, I swear I got a verruca…’
    ‘I don’t have any verrucas – now seriously, go!’ Jess hisses, giving me an almighty shove. I have no idea why I am doing this, but I also know there will be a good reason. Even if temporary insanity is the cause.
     
    I exit the bathroom ten minutes later, having preened myself thoroughly, and walk down the stairs to find Jess sitting at the table shoeless. She grins widely and points to the bar, where Sean and a sulky-looking Charmaine are waiting to be served. I teeter past as quickly as I can on four inch heels and sit down.
    ‘What the hell are they doing in Edinburgh?’ I ask.
    ‘I overheard Sean saying they are through for the day to fix up some gigs for The Magic Mushrooms,’ whispers Jess. ‘You have got to go over.’
    ‘No!’ I look at Jess in horror. ‘And let them have one up on me as they flaunt their relationship? I think not.’
    ‘Lucy, you look amazing. She looks like the side of a house and, by the sound of things, all is not rosy.’
    I listen closely to their muffled words. Indeed, it does sound like Charmaine is having a go at Sean over something. I take a deep breath, pull in my tummy and head over. Jess claps her hands with glee.
    ‘ You said that we would have one drink and go. You’ve had no luck in finding a gig and I’m tired. We’ve done five bars now and I’m not having you throwing up in my car again on the way home. You either come now, or I’m leaving on my own,’ threatens Charmaine.
    Sean looks tired. I try not to smile. I note the solitaire engagement ring on Charmaine’s finger. Knowing Sean, it’s not a diamond. It’d be from a Lucky Bag if he thought he’d get away with it. He storms off to play the bandit.
    I order another two glasses of Pinot Grigio and smile sweetly at the gorgeous barman, Callum, who has been flirting outrageously with Jess and I since we came in. Charmaine turns in recognition of my voice.
    ‘You!’ she stares at me in disgust.
    I look at her in confusion. ‘Sorry, do we know each other?’ I ask politely.
    ‘Charmaine!’ she exclaims, looking me up and down. ‘You used to go out with Sean. Don’t make out you don’t know me,’ she says indignantly.
    ‘Sorry,’ I smile. ‘I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.’
    I saunter back to my seat as Charmaine heads over to Sean, shaking her head and pointing in our direction. He walks toward us, smiling:
    ‘Lucy, oh my God, you look great!’ he announces, giving me an approving once over. ‘Oh. Sorry, I realise who you are now,’ I whisper to Charmaine.
    Jess dashes to the bar where she is waving her arms and chatting enthusiastically to Callum. I smile at Sean and ask how he’s been.
    ‘Just been signed up for three gigs in Edinburgh,’ he says smugly. Charmaine shoots him a ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ look.
    ‘Only went to five bars. Had to turn two down and take the best three. You know how it is.’
    Suddenly, I am swept backwards. Callum plants a kiss on my lips and says:
    ‘I’ll only be half an hour longer, gorgeous. Then I’m all yours. I’ve booked the restaurant for 7pm. You were right, when I gave my name, suddenly there was a table after all, Sir.’ Callum turns to Sean: ‘I don’t usually like to name drop,