understand? I’m just a girl, after all.”
“I’m sorry I said that. I know you get it.” Saul held up a hand, half wave, half dismissive gesture. “Just talk to her for me.” He turned and sprinted across the field to his team.
NADIA CAME HOME with Phee after school and cried on her bed for several hours. In the brief moments when she wasn’t crying, she was gripped by anger. At Saul, mostly, but Gryph too. When she finally had to go home, Phoenix steered a still-weepy Nadia toward the train station. They didn’t talk much as they crossed the green. They climbed the stairs to the platform, and Phoenix turned to hug Nadia goodbye when she spotted Saul sitting on a bench down at the end. He stood when he noticed them. He lifted a hand in half a wave. Nadia took a couple of steps toward him, but then changed her mind and turned on her heel.
“What do I do?”
Phoenix gave her a little push. “Go talk to him.”
“What do I say?”
“You’ve been together forever, so I think you can probably come up with something.”
“No.” Nadia emphatically shook her head. The gesture was not lost on Saul. With his arms open, he started in their direction. “You stop right there, mister!” Nadia pointed a finger at him. He did as he was told, standing still and jamming his hands into his pockets.
“You go talk to him first,” Nadia whispered to Phoenix. “You go tell him how fragile I am and how badly he hurt me today. I want him to get it for once, you know? I want him to realize how his choices hurt me.”
“And you think your theatrics will make him change his mind?”
Nadia shrugged. She pulled out a tissue, and after checking to ensure that Saul was still watching, she dabbed her tears and sucked back a loud sob. “Go. Tell him.”
This time it was Nadia who gave the shove and Phoenix who stumbled forward. She went up to Saul and spoke before he could start. “Look, she loves you, blah, blah, blah. She sent me over here”— she gestured back at Nadia, who was watching while trying to look as if she wasn’t—“so I could tell you a load of crap to make you think she’s still mad at you, even though she’s not. Not mad, anyway. Hurt and sad, yes. Proof in point: she spent the whole afternoon in tears on my bed. Or the bed at my grandma’s, if we’re being specific.”
“Your grandma’s?”
“Gryph hasn’t said anything?”
Saul shook his head, eyebrows lifting into a question.
“Don’t ask. Long story. Back to Nadia.”
Saul shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and stared at his feet. His shoulders slumped forward. “I feel like a complete ass.”
“Okay. Good start.”
“Truth is …” Saul glanced up at her, almost shyly. “I spent the afternoon crying too.”
“What?” Phoenix glanced back at Nadia, who was churning the air with her hand, gesturing for her to speed it up. “You? Crying? I don’t believe it.”
“Look, there’s something that I want to tell you. Something big. But you have to promise not to tell anyone. And I mean it. No one.”
“Why me?”
“Because …” He glanced at Nadia, then again at his feet. “Because I think you’ll understand.”
Phoenix laughed. “That’s a first.”
Saul stared at her, in no joking mood.
“Okay, why me? Why not Nadia?”
“I can’t tell Nadia.”
“Why not?”
“It’ll make sense when I tell you. I can trust you—”
“But not Nadia?”
Saul ignored the comment. “You’re a true friend, Phoenix. And I hope you still will be after I tell you.”
“I will, Saul. Of course I will.”
“You might. You might not. You won’t know until after you hear what I have to say.”
“Then say it, already.” The conversation was going around in a frustrating little circle, one that made her stomach clench. Clearly, he had a secret. A big secret. Phee wanted to know it, of course, but there was a part of her that cautioned against her curiosity.
“I will. First, though”—Saul’s eyes pleaded