Free Crompton Divided by Robert Sheckley Page B

apartment.’
     
    Things were never quite so good for Loomis after the lifeguard job. He did manage to get hired as a substitute bartender at one of the popular nightclubs. It was a good situation: bartenders have first crack at the female customers, also an inside track with the waitresses. He really wanted to hold on to this one. And he did well at it. But –
    ‘I got fired,’ he admitted candidly. ‘It was because Leela made a scene and the owner decided that I was trouble. I’d been living with Leela for about a month at that time. Leela wasn’t her real name. She’d picked that up from some book. She started these scenes because Myra, whom I had recently met, was always hanging around. As if I could stop her from coming into the bar!’
    ‘Why was she always hanging around?’
    ‘Well, she’d become dependent on me. Foolishly enough, I had agreed to help her out. She was learning to be an exotic dancer, and she needed someone with sure hands to hold her while she practiced splits and backbends. Leela put the worst possible interpretation on this, of course.’
    ‘Did she have cause?’ Crompton asked.
    Loomis shook his head impatiently. ‘She never caught me doing anything out of line with Myra. So why should she be so certain? What right did she have to make a big public mess, and to accuse me – with no evidence at all – of sleeping with Myra and Bunny? Any court anywhere in the galaxy would exonerate me –’
    ‘Wait a minute. Who was Bunny?’
    ‘Bunny was Myra’s sister. About sixteen, a charming little thing with great blue eyes and a cute, immature little figure.’
    ‘And what were you doing with her?’
    ‘Only what I had to do.’
    ‘What are you talking about?’
    ‘You see, they lived together in a one-room efficiency. Bunny began to get ideas. And Myra didn’t care. That Myra!’
    ‘So Leela made a scene and that was the end of your job?’
    ‘That’s right. My life became a succession of temporary jobs and temporary women. One of those women was Gilliam. And that brings us up to date.’
    ‘What made you decide to marry Gilliam?’
    ‘Well, she insisted. She was the only one who ever really insisted. That’s love, isn’t it? And she was pretty good-looking, and rich. I figured, how far wrong can I go? It just goes to show you, doesn’t it?’
    ‘Is Gilliam rich? I thought you said she worked as a waitress.’
    ‘She was just doing it for a goof. For a while I thought we could be happy together – just her and me and her money. But it was not to be. We’ve had our problems.’
    ‘Other women?’
    ‘What else? I seem to be cursed with this powerful interest in women.’
    ‘In their sexuality, you mean,’ Crompton stated.
    ‘Well, of course. That’s what women want men to be interested in them for, Alistair. Women are their sexual natures. Very few men are aware of this.’
    ‘That surely isn’t true,’ Crompton said. ‘From what I’ve seen, nearly all men are interested in sex.’
    ‘It’s not the same thing,’ Loomis said. ‘Being interested in sex is simply being interested in one’s own sensations. But few men are interested in women’s sexual nature. It frightens them. You’re a virgin, Al, aren’t you?’
    ‘We are discussing you, not me. If I understand correctly, you live off the earnings of women.’
    ‘And we all know what that is,’ Loomis said. ‘Don’t be so high and mighty, Alistair! Men and women do live off each other – all except the freaks like you.’
    ‘You are a mere parasite of the wealthy,’ Crompton said.
    ‘Now that’s really unfair,’ Loomis said. ‘Don’t the rich have their necessities, too? Maybe they don’t need the same things as the poor, but they do have needs. The government provides food, shelter, and medical attention for the poor. But what do they do for the rich?’
    Crompton laughed. A short, unpleasant sound. ‘If anyone finds it a hardship to be rich, he is free to give up the burden.’
    ‘But