Free The Best I Could by R. K. Ryals Page A

know why I asked.
It was definitely enough to turn him off. More than enough.
    His gaze dropped to my face. “I was a
reckless teenager. With my grandfather’s allowance, all I cared
about was getting out of the house and drowning myself in women, in
affection. I fell hard for a girl I met my senior year of high
school. The ink was barely dry on our diplomas when I asked her to
marry me. She was everything a guy could hope for … until she
discovered I wasn’t interested in taking over a casino my
grandfather owns. She’s pregnant now with my cousin’s kid. They’re
engaged.”
    Nothing came out of my mouth. Saying “wow”
didn’t seem appropriate. Saying “I’m sorry” just seemed
ridiculous.
    Rocking back onto my heels, I found myself
muttering, “No wonder you’d rather just stick to screwing.”
    Eli’s eyes changed. For the first time since
saying, “Hey, roof girl,” I think he realized where he was. He was
seeing me.
    “What? No defending your own sex?”
    “Not them.”
    He squinted, his gaze taking in my figure.
“You’re not much older than my brother, you know.”
    My brows rose. “Did you ask or
something?”
    “He did.”
    “Oh.”
    He pulled another cigarette out of his
pocket, but he didn’t light it. “He’s a good kid. A girl could do
worse.” He studied me, his gaze hardening. “He’s not interested in
taking over my grandfather’s casino either.”
    My nose scrunched. Redneck rich , Hetty had
called them. It didn’t really matter to me one way or another.
“That’s good, I guess. Is that supposed to have something to do
with me?”
    Twirling the cigarette around in his fingers,
he said, “It could if you were interested in him.”
    I straightened, a strange
feeling stealing over me. I wasn’t interested in Jonathan. I didn’t
want to be interested in either of them. “Then it doesn’t have anything to do with
me.”
    “You don’t like him?” A defensive tone crept
into his voice.
    My toes curled into the soil below. “Is that
why you stopped? To pick me up for your brother?”
    “No.” His shoulders slumped. “Well, maybe I
did.”
    I squirmed. “Look, nothing against your
brother or anything. He’s charming as hell, but I’m not interested
in anyone. Ever.”
    He froze. “What? You don’t like men?”
    “To have sex maybe. Outside of that … I’m not
interested in love. Period.”
    My words, unlike his, did shock him. “You’ve had
sex?”
    This conversation was going too far.
    Taking a step back, I met his gaze. “I really
have no idea how any of this is your business. I don’t know why you
stopped. Frankly, I don’t care. I’m sorry about what happened to
you. Really, I am—”
    “You haven’t, have you?”
    “Plenty of times, thank you,” I blurted. My
teeth pressed into my tongue, silencing me.
    Eli grinned. “A little young, aren’t
you?”
    “Because I’m seventeen? What century are you
living in, dude?” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ears, the
pixie cut I had longer in the front than in the back. “It was an
ex-boyfriend. A year ago. Same person every time. He broke it off.
Couldn’t handle all the stuff I had going on at home.” I glanced at
him. “Is it wrong for me not to want love but still like intimacy?
Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
    He shoved the cigarette he held back in his
pocket. “What’s jaded you? Aren’t women obsessed with romance?”
    “I told you about my dad, remember?” I
swallowed hard. “He died because he couldn’t exist without my mom.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die because I can’t make it
without someone. I don’t want to hold on so tight to someone that
everything else just doesn’t matter.”
    Eli gazed at me, his face and body immobile.
“Makes sense I guess,” he said finally.
    A light switched on in my grandmother’s
house. Eli stepped back, sinking into the shadows.
    A door opened. “You coming in soon, Tansy?”
my grandmother called. “You’re going