Free The Last of the Red-Hot Vampires by Katie MacAlister Page B

just don’t find wine like that anymore.”
    â€œYou don’t find plague anymore either, but you won’t catch me bemoaning the loss of those days. Yes, yes, we hear you, whatever your name is.” Dame Margaret turned to Bettina, who was standing at the opened door. “This won’t take long at all.”
    â€œWe’re quite experienced at conducting trials,” Tansy said as she bustled over to the door, patting Bettina’s arm. “Why don’t you take a seat, dear. It will all be over before you know it.”
    â€œShe said trial,” Sarah whispered, gripping my forearm. “Didn’t Theo say something about a trial before you scared him off?”
    â€œAnd a champion,” I answered, nibbling my bottom lip. It was a bad habit from youth, but one I couldn’t help in times of stress…and whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was suddenly a bit worried about the two women who were even now escorting an overwhelmed-looking Bettina back to her seat.
    â€œWhat do you think it means?” Sarah asked.
    â€œLadies and gentlemen!” Dame Margaret clapped her hands and, without warning, the room was filled with an intense bluish light, seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. It must have dazzled me more than I realized, because without being aware of moving, I suddenly found myself standing in the center of the room, facing the two women, Sarah at my side. “We commence with the first trial of the virtue known as Portia Harding.”
    â€œI have a feeling this evening is going to end up being just as strange as the afternoon,” I told my friend.
    She nodded.
    â€œIs your champion ready?” Dame Margaret asked me.
    Sarah and I looked at each other. “I’m a champion? Isn’t that like a knight-errant or something?”
    â€œSo I gather.” I turned back to face the two women. Beyond them, Bettina, Milo and his wife, and the elegant lady watched us with startled eyes. They were oddly silent given the unexpected interruption. “I’m really sorry, but this has to stop.”
    Dame Margaret frowned. “You’re not Portia Harding?”
    â€œYes, I am, but—”
    â€œAnd this is your champion?”
    â€œNo, she’s my friend, not a champion, but—”
    â€œIt is your right to waive the presence of a champion, although I can’t imagine why you would do so,” Dame Margaret said with a shrug.
    â€œLook, this has gone far enough,” I said, getting angry. “As I explained to Theo, we are not the gullible, helpless tourists we may look to be, and frankly, we’ve had a hell of a day and I’m really not going to put up with any more fun and games a la Theo. Feel free to trot back to him and tell him that your little scheme didn’t work, and the police will be contacting him about this continued harassment.”
    Tansy pursed her lips. Dame Margaret frowned. Sarah clutched my arm even tighter.
    â€œWe are already late, Portia Harding. I don’t understand the purpose of your little joke, but we have a job to do. Tansy, if you please?”
    â€œThis is absolutely insaaaaaaaaa—”
    Before I knew what was happening, little round butterball Tansy threw herself at me, slamming into me with a force that knocked me backward several feet onto my butt. I stared in stunned disbelief at her as she did the flying dive toward me, knocking the breath out of me as her not-insubstantial form squashed me like a ripe bug. My head hit the ground, making me see stars for a few seconds, my already injured shoulder screaming with reawakened pain.
    â€œSweet mother of reason, what do you think you’re doing?” I shrieked as Tansy grabbed my hair and started slamming my head against the floor. “Sarah, call the cops!”
    â€œI can’t move,” Sarah yelled back, her voice strained. “Something seems to be holding me back.”
    â€œYou are