Free Visions by Kay Brooks Page A

now and you couldn’t stop it from coming.
    “I put you to bed while you were sobbing your heart out, promising to send daddy up when he got in from work. When he did arrive home exhausted but elated about his new project, I screamed at him and squeezed him so hard. You see, you were only five years old but I believed you.” Now she was crying. I passed her a tissue and then kept one for myself as I realised that I was also weeping. “After I’d explained, he phoned me every time he was going to be home late. I waited for something to happen like I was stuck in limbo. Nothing did, but your daydreams got worse. Now the therapist was saying he thought you had some anxiety problems, particularly surrounding the absence of your dad. He suggested that the anxiety may be severe enough to be causing some depression. Still though, your dad and the doctor agreed that medicating a five-year-old was the wrong route to take. They suggested starting some behaviour modifying therapy and that was due to start two weeks later.”
                  “Dad died before then, didn’t he?” I asked. Our tissues were soggy from tears. “God, I loved him, Mum. It kills me that I can’t remember what he looked like. In my mind, I can only see photos but I know I loved him. I know I did.”
                  “Oh, you did, Gilly-Bean and my God, did he love you!”
                  “Tell me what happened.”
                  “He didn’t come home. You were in bed and I waited and waited and waited. I phoned his office. There was no answer. I kept reassuring myself that he must be stuck in traffic on the motorway. Every time a car passed by the door, I ran to the window. Then one parked up and I ran to the door. Oh, Gillian, I really thought it was him.” She was speaking in between sobs now.
    “It was two police men. I knew as soon as I saw them what had happened. They didn’t even need to tell me. I was furious. I’d told him over and over to be careful when he was driving home. I know it wasn’t his fault, but at the time all I felt was anger. Gilly, it was exactly as you’d said. His car was hit by a drifting lorry. The police said he was gone almost instantly. He couldn’t have felt any pain, they reassured me. That was left for us to feel and God knows I have. I still miss him now.”
    We held each other and sobbed for a while. This was the first time we’d actually discussed what had happened to my dad. I realised that all these years on, my mum was still grieving for him. Over the years, she’d been on a few dates here and there, but nothing long term.
                  Once we’d composed ourselves, my mum returned to her original question. “So, did you see that I was going to pass out?”
                  “Yes, and it’s not the first time recently that I’ve seen something that actually has happened.” I told her about Amelia. “Do you think I should go and see a doctor again?”
                  “I can’t see that their response will be any different now. There are no medical conditions that compare to what you experience. Well, none that are acknowledged, anyway. The only thing that it can be compared to, and I’m not saying that I even believe in any of this myself, is people who claim to have psychic abilities. But even palm or tarot card readers must be able to control what they see to some extent, otherwise how can they have clients?”
                  We discussed what could be done until the early hours of the morning without finding any satisfactory resolution. It was pretty much agreed that while the ‘visions’ couldn’t be controlled, I would continue to refrain from driving. My mum also thought it might be a good idea to document anything that I saw, along with any details regarding place or time. Although the problem wasn’t solved, I felt so much
    better because I knew I wasn’t the only one dealing