him
at all cost. I soon realized she was also observing Jonaz and me
closely.
“ What’s wrong?” I blurted,
unable to ignore her staring any longer. I regretted my big mouth
the instant everyone else’s ears at the table pricked up. Too many
eyes honed in to regard us with interest.
“ It’s just that you two
seem to be so happy with your match.” Kaelin’s resentment was so
palpable everyone within earshot fell silent.
Dallein’s face flushed deep red
and he shot Kaelin a frantic look. “Not here, Kaelin,” he
hissed.
“ Er,” I blushed. “We’re
not actually partners.”
“ Are you a love match
then?” Kaelin looked so sad and yet so hopeful at the same time
that I almost wanted to lie, but I just couldn’t be
dishonest.
“ Um no, we’re just
friends. My match is… over there.” Mortified, I glanced over
towards Avin’s direction at the next table.
“ Oh, but I thought you
were together?” She blinked at Jonaz and me suspiciously. My cheeks
burned in a blaze of betrayal. Jonaz shifted warily at my side as
an even thicker silence unfolded along the table. Dallein, clearly
horrified his partner was publicly showing how unhappy she was,
glared at Kaelin as though willing her to shut up. She looked back
at him stricken, her lower lip trembling as her dark eyes filled
with sudden tears. Jumping up, she rushed sobbing from the hall,
her tray clattering to the floor. Sazika and Mira stared at Jonaz
and me in dismay.
“ Tell me she’s wrong.”
Mira’s voice was creepy calm.
“Oh boy,” said Sazika. A
wave of dread washed over me. Obviously, our feelings for each
other were transparent enough for a stranger to notice. That was
bad. Not to mention I happened to be sitting with him and not Avin,
my designated match. That was extra bad. But Kaelin’s public
tantrum over her partner would be considered disloyal to the
Governing Body, and I hoped that no officers or anyone else would
report her outburst. That would be really bad.
I expected Dallein to go after
her, but instead he sat with his head bowed, staring dejectedly at
the table.
“I’m really sorry…” I stopped
when he raised his head and looked at me, his eyes so full of pain
I flinched.
“We don’t love each
other.” Dallein’s voice was quiet yet firm. “I love another girl,
but she’s not like us. She’s been forced to partner with someone
else normal. We petitioned a love match, but they said we
weren’t a good
match . They say he’s the most suitable match for her.” His voice trembled with anger and despair, his
hands fisting through his hair as if he was in danger of losing
control. My heart twisting, I reached out, placing my hand over
his. There was absolutely nothing I could say that would make him
feel any better and I had no right in the cosmos to suggest Kaelin
would ‘ come
around ’ or that they might
‘ learn to love one
another. ’
“Don’t pity me!” Dallein
snarled as he pulled his hand away. “The law is the law and Kaelin
will just have to submit like the rest of us.” Standing abruptly,
he marched angrily from the hall as the atmosphere changed to
something that felt heavy and oppressive. It was as though the
carefully concealed reality of the partnering, the positive
attitude we all tried so carefully to convey, had been ripped from
the room, revealing the ugly emotions we were all meant to hide or
deny. The sensation of not being alone in my feelings was
terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. A resistance of some
sort, an objection, was beginning to awaken inside not just me, but
others.
People began to murmur and then
gradually conversation returned, the darkness draining away. But it
was not as lively as it had been, the mood sullied by the truth of
our situation. From the corner of my eye, I saw Shanna slinking out
of the hall, like a predator going after some wounded creature. She
could have been going after either of them; it seemed to me they
were both hurting equally in