Free Brides and Betrayal (Reconciled and Redeemed Book 1) by Michelle Lynn Brown Page B

touch you, love you, honor you like this when you have not done the same to him.
    “Holly,” Hunter said as he brushed her cheeks with his thumbs. But the rest of his words were a hot blur, as her mind went cold and fuzzy. Pushing out of his arms she ran for the downstairs bathroom and barely made it in time. As she emptied out the contents of her stomach, she wondered if it was her body’s way of trying to empty itself out of the guilt. Could it physically manifest like this? She wondered.
    When she came out of the bathroom, she saw him standing there with that same handsome but infuriating smile. “I am sorry. I guess I am not any better.”
    “Well, I don’t think you are going to ‘get better’ any time soon - at least not for nine months.”
    His meaning didn’t register right away, but when it did she felt like her knees melted beneath her. Hunter’s strong arms caught her before she hit the ground, and she was barely aware of Hunter carrying her up the stairs.
    Gently placing her on their bed, he removed her shoes with the tender care of a servant. Stop ! Her mind cried.
    Brushing the hair back from her face, Hunter kissed the tip of her nose. “Ever since I returned home, I’ve felt as if something’s changed.”
    Hunter mistook her look of horror, laughing as he said, “Not the part about you throwing up all the time.” He ran the tip of his finger down her cheek. “Like something had changed for the better in our marriage. Maybe it is just because I realized how much a disservice I was doing to you and our marriage by constantly wondering if you were going to turn into my mother or Janessa. I know you would never do that, and I’m sorry it has taken me this long to let go of my mistrust of them just so I could trust you.”
    She looked away from Hunter, feeling the bile rise in her throat again. He cupped her cheek, forcing their eyes to meet. “But it is like this baby is another sign of change coming to our marriage – a new stage in our lives.”
    Her guilt was like a heavy cloth over her mouth, and she struggled to breath. Holly wanted to shake him off her and tell him the truth. She wanted to unburden herself, honor him with honesty, and beg for mercy and another chance. In the end, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t rob him of his happy news and replace it with what would destroy him. She had done enough to hurt him - she would do no more.
    “A new us.” She managed a facsimile of a smile that she hoped would pass as genuine.
    He place a hand on her still flat stomach. “Yes, a new us.”
    The question of the baby’s father haunted her for the rest of the evening. She rationalized that for her to be far enough along to be showing signs of morning sickness, the baby had to be Hunter’s. The fact that she didn’t know for certain was just another truckload of guilt that was poured on top of her.
    Later that evening, as she lay awake listening to the peaceful snores of her husband, she could not silence the whispering accusation that she had fully stepped into the role of her mother – an adulterous wife, with a child that could possibly be another man’s.
    Rolling onto her side, she closed her eyes and tried to blot out the pain, the guilt, the shame of her actions. Worse yet was the knowledge of the pain she had caused Hunter.
    I am so sorry, God. I know you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, but show mercy to Hunter. He has been hurt so bad in the past, and I don’t want to be the next dagger in his back. I will take on the burden of this guilt and shame. I will carry it around and will live under it. But don’t hurt him with the truth.
    She waited to hear His voice - the one she had heard so long ago, but now seemed to be vacant from her life. She longed for the skittering of thoughts across her brain that let her know that God was there, He was listening, and He had accepted her sacrificial offering. But there was nothing but silence.
    After two weeks, Holly had convinced