It’s just not that important anymore.” Gently he put his arm around my shoulders. “I promise to not freak out when you want to see your friends, particularly boys. Although, that idea still scares the shit out of me by the way.”
“Dad!” I rarely heard him swear. He laughed at my reaction and so did my mother, her gentle smile lighting up her face. I wasn’t sure if that was because my father was talking to me about how he felt or because of him swearing.
“Well, your mum told me about that boy Scott, that’s been coming around. She approves of him and said that he’s a nice boy with nice manners. Apparently he even helped her in the garden! Considering she never liked Jake, I guess that’s good enough for me.” He stood up and went back to my mother’s side in the dirt, she placed her hand in his and gently squeezed, her own eyes a little watery.
“He is nice and I really like him,” I answered truthfully. “I don’t have many friends here yet and I’d like the time to get to know the ones I do have.” Standing up, I brushed off the dirt. “I’m on top of my school work, don’t worry.”
“Ruby, you’ve been a fantastic student all your life. That’s one thing I’m so proud of you for. We have never had to bug you about school, you accept that as your own responsibility.” He picked up a small shovel and begun digging in the dirt to signal that the conversation was over.
“I’m going to take Phoenix for a walk. I’ll try not to have anyone die on me today.”
They both looked at me, what looked like confusion on their faces, unsure whether to laugh to tell me off. “I’ll see you later.”
I walked to the lake with Phoenix pulling on his lead for most of the walk, I realised that I hadn’t taken him for a couple of days. Pulling him back into line we continued to walk further around the lake instead of stopping at our usual place. A few other people were out walking; families with young children on bikes and people running and walking.
I mulled over the conversation I’d just had with my parents. Unsure of what had changed so significantly to make them this easy going about my freedom, particularly my father. It was true though I’d never given them much cause for concern before, except for Jake, but that never really went anywhere anyway. I wondered what would have happened had we stayed in the city. After all Jake had only broken up with me because I was moving. I shuddered at the thought of giving myself to him instead of Scott. I imagined the sex with him would have been stagnant and all about him. However, when I imaged sex with Scott, well it wasn’t PG rated that’s for sure. I couldn’t believe I was even thinking of doing something like that with Scott after the short time we’d known each other. Everything in my body told me that I was ready to be with him, I just needed to convince my brain that I was ready. Was I ready? When I was with Scott I felt more than ready, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I was rushing it because of the intensity of our physical connection. I sighed and plonked down on a bench for a rest, Phoenix gladly sitting on my feet.
I looked over the lake and remembered Krystal’s face as she died in front of me. Her funeral was on Tuesday and I had full intentions of going. Her parents had already asked if I would go after speaking to my mother that morning. I wasn’t sure why they wanted me there, but I couldn’t deny Krystal’s grieving parents their request. I couldn’t believe they had already organised the funeral, it seemed so fast.
I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I realised that it might help me let go of the confusion I felt over her death. I still didn’t know why she had died. Nobody was be able to give me any answers. Everyone simply calling it tragic and immensely sad.
After walking the entire lake perimeter we headed home. Phoenix went straight for his water bowl, noisily slurping up mouthfuls of water. Then