Free My True Cowboy by Shelley Galloway Page B

son.”
    â€œBut there’s got to be more to it than that.”
    Was there? Suddenly, all the reasons she’d shut down onlife didn’t seem to make that much sense. Was she afraid of getting hurt again? Afraid to dream again?
    Perhaps she was so twisted that she was even afraid to want to dream again. And that answer, of course, made her reply sharper than she meant to. “Not really. I don’t have the money or the time to get dolled up and think about dating. More important, I don’t have the emotional strength for it, either.”
    Remembering how betrayed she’d felt by Greg, she muttered, “Sometimes I think there’s just nothing left inside me for romance.”
    Slowly Betsy put down her wineglass. “I’m sorry. You always sound so positive about your life. I guess I never really took the time to think that you don’t really feel that way.”
    â€œDon’t make me into someone I’m not. I’m fine. And one day, I’m sure I’ll meet somebody and everything will be all good. But right now, it’s all on hold.”
    â€œThat could be years, Susan.”
    â€œIt doesn’t matter.” Thinking about Greg, and the big mistake she’d made with him, Susan added, “It’s not like I haven’t lived. Obviously I’ve been around the block a time or two myself.”
    â€œI have a feeling those blocks you’ve been around aren’t all that big.”
    â€œMaybe you’re right.” For the first time in a long while, Susan gave herself permission to stop feeling so guilty about the choices she’d been making in life. “Maybe they weren’t all that big at all.”
    â€œSo…do you think there’s any chance I can get you to change your mind about this double date?”
    â€œNope.”
    Betsy winked. “It might be good practice for Mr. Right.”
    â€œI’m not up for practicing,” she said with a smile, though it felt strained.
    Because all of a sudden, Cal Riddell flashed in her mind. He was the type of man women dreamed about. Correction. He was the man she’d been dreaming about. Steady, responsible.
    Handsome.
    Oh, they had their differences. And maybe that’s all they would ever have. But his very being had made her think of…getting all hot and bothered between the sheets. And though she wasn’t looking for an easy love like Betsy, Susan realized that sometime during the last few weeks she’d started thinking about living again.
    Ever since she’d had Hank, she’d put everything about herself in a drawer. Keeping it shut away while she tried her best to do what was right for the two of them.
    With force, she’d done her best to ignore feelings of desire. She’d looked away and coolly ignored flirtations with the few men she’d met. That wasn’t who she was.
    Actually, that wasn’t who she was now .
    But maybe one day she’d meet a man like Cal who would like her back. Then, she could become the woman she’d always dreamed of being but had never imagined was possible.

Chapter Seven
    With a grunt, Cal lifted another bag of feed onto his shoulder and carried it to the empty stall at the end of the barn. Each bag was fifty pounds, and there were a dozen of them. After carrying four, he’d broken a sweat.
    By the seventh, Cal had a pounding headache.
    As he walked the feed to the stall and then laid it down neatly on the others, he turned around and stretched, wincing slightly as his head continued to pound.
    Too much coffee and not enough sleep did that to a person, he supposed. That and the constant worrying about things he couldn’t control.
    With another grunt, he bent down and hefted another sack onto his shoulder. Dust and particles of straw blew up into his face. Balancing the bag on one shoulder, he wiped his eyes with his bandanna, then started walking. When he passed Jet, the old palomino whinnied