Free Risky Christmas by Jill Sorenson Page B

lying. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that John used to take us out to dinner a lot, even when we were drowning in debt. He hid the truth about our finances and pretended everything was fine until it was too late.”
    He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t like being compared to your husband.”
    Leah cringed, thrusting her hands in her hair. “I’m not saying this right. I think I connected to the two situations in my mind, and judged you unfairly based on his mistakes. Does that make sense?”
    He gave her an assessing look. “Yes.”
    â€œI’m sorry if I offended you. I guess I have…trust issues.”
    â€œI understand.”
    â€œDo you?”
    â€œOf course. You think I don’t have issues, after the childhood I had? You trigger some of my old wounds, too.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œWell, the fact that you hold yourself at a distance kind of messes with my head. Every time I get close, you back away. On the one hand, you’re sexy and mysterious, and I’m a normal guy who likes the chase. But deep down I’m still that scrawny foster kid who felt abandoned and unwanted.”
    Heat rose to her cheeks and tears filled her eyes. She looked away, embarrassed by the way his words affected her. He’d touched her on so many levels.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” he asked, cupping her face.
    She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall. His openness was like a balm to her soul. John had never shared his emotions with her. “I’m sorry I made you feel bad.”
    â€œYou’re not responsible for my upbringing, Leah.”
    â€œThank you for telling me about it.”
    He brushed moisture from her cheek. “Thank you for listening.”
    She felt herself drifting toward him and paused. It wasn’t fair to keep leading him on, but he was so hard to resist. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” she asked, moving back a few inches and reaching for her drink.
    He tore his gaze from her mouth. “I haven’t dated anyone in a while.”
    â€œHow come?”
    â€œMy last girlfriend and I broke up right after my sister died.”
    â€œOh,” Leah breathed, putting her hand on her chest. “That’s terrible.”
    â€œYeah.” His expression was contemplative. “I think it was more my fault that hers.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œTalking about my childhood seemed to make her uncomfortable, so I didn’t bring it up. She had a great family and couldn’t really relate. But I liked her, and we got serious fast. She mentioned wanting kids.”
    â€œDid you?”
    â€œYes, but I had serious reservations about it.”
    â€œMost thoughtful people do.”
    â€œMine are different than most.”
    â€œWhy is that?”
    â€œWell, I like kids, obviously, and I think I’d enjoy being a parent. But I don’t know who my father is.”
    â€œYour mom never told you?”
    â€œNo. There were probably a number of possibilities.”
    She rested her head on his shoulder, her heart breaking for him. “That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be a great dad.”
    â€œTrue, but I don’t know what genes I’d be passing on, or even who I’m related to.”
    â€œCan you get your DNA checked?”
    â€œYeah. I was considering it when Brenda got in the car accident.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth, as if disturbed by the memory. “I’d made a mistake in downplaying my past. Cassie knew I didn’t have a father, but she wasn’t clear on the details. When she met my mother at the funeral, she was horrified.”
    Leah smoothed her palm across his back, comforting him.
    â€œI told her the ugly truth about my childhood andshe stopped talking about kids. It was over pretty soon after that.”
    Her loss, she thought. “You were right to be honest with her.”
    â€œI can’t blame her for