Free Sorting Out Sid by Yashodra Lal Page A

him even though she was a much-in-demand senior. But then, after their marriage, even when it was just the two of them, she seemed to expect that he would continue to be the official entertainer. She didn’t understand who this quiet person was – the one who just wanted to spend hours reading or listening to music or watching TV. She had been dismayed, and even considered it some kind of personal rejection.
    ‘Why is it that you have a hundred stories to tell other people, but you can’t even tell me about your day at work?’ had been her pet peeve.
    He had attempted to tell her that this quiet side of him was also a part of who he was, especially when people weren’t around. But she continued to take it as a sign of his diminishing interest in her. For a while he tried hard to be attentive and amusing while she was around, but it had been a constant strain. It made him crankier than usual, eventually leading to the same thing he had been trying to avoid – squabbling.
    He took another sip, this time glugging it down long and slow. Constant strain was perhaps marginally better than explosive attacks like the one that had happened today.
    Mandira was hysterical when she had called him at the office. For some strange reason she had been going through his personal laptop at home when she discovered his private collection of porn – one that Sid had carefully built over the last few years. His collection was impressive and extensive, inboth volume and variety. The discovery enraged her although Sid didn’t quite understand why. A man had needs, and she sure as hell hadn’t been fulfilling them for a long time now. In fact, of late, she had even taken to sleeping in the guestroom – ostensibly, his reading light disturbed her. Sid, however, was certain that he heard her talking on the phone late into the night. So it was, apparently, only a means to avoid him. What was a guy to do? Porn was only a little, innocent voyeurism. It helped in getting him some sort of … well, release. She was the one who said he bottled things up too much and that wasn’t healthy. Talk about double standards, he thought moodily.
    She had screamed at him on the phone for his perverted nature, how it now made a lot of sense that he no longer expressed any interest in any physical contact with her. And how sneaky it was of him to hide this sick side from her. It had all been a bit too much for him and he tried to argue with her, in a low whispered tone, mindful of the many people around in the office. ‘ Me not expressing interest … And you’re calling me sneaky? What were you doing going through my personal stuff, anyway? It clearly shows that you don’t trust me.’
    Mandira had stopped fuming and hyperventilating to give Sid a short bark of a laugh and said, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me, Siddharth. Do you really think that’s the main issue at hand?’ Sid hesitated for a moment and she continued, ‘And anyway – you’ve shown you aren’t worthy of trust!’
    Frustrated, Sid whispered that he couldn’t talk at the moment and suggested that they discuss it when he got home. Her voice changed abruptly, and became all cold. She informed him that she was leaving for an office party and would get back late. She added somewhat unnecessarily, inhis opinion, that he could entertain himself with his Cowgirl-in-High-Heeled-Boots fantasies. Before he could say another word in protest, she slammed the phone down.
    ‘Okay, fine, so we’ll talk at home then, honey, see you,’ Sid said in a loud and cheerful tone for the benefit of his colleagues who were pretending not to listen. Sid looked around discreetly – he had a lot of experience with reading ears, and he knew immediately all their attention had been focussed on him. He was also aware of his own ears giving him away as they flushed bright red despite his attempt to cover up by shuffling through papers and pursing his lips into a tuneless whistle. A thought sprung into his mind