weight.
Connor didn't kiss him right away. Instead he ran his fingers
through Mike's hair and over his chin, his thumb rubbing over Mike's lips. Mike
opened his mouth and sucked in Connor's thumb. Connor's body had been still
above him, but when Mike pulled hard on Connor's thumb the man pushed, rubbing
his hard cock over Mike's hip.
Mike gasped, releasing Connor's thumb. They were getting hot
and heavy real fast, their breaths coming in gasps.
"Connor," Mike whispered just before Connor sealed
their lips together, his tongue plunging between Mike's lips. They were moving
into dangerous territory and as much as Mike wanted this, he didn't want to
move too fast.
They kissed for another minute before Mike pulled back and
hugged Connor, holding him tightly. "I have so many feelings for you and
one of those is a deep—caring that is rooted in friendship. We need to slow
down."
"Fuck, Mike, we aren't teenagers."
"I know, but I don't want to mess this up. I've wanted
you for a long time and I want this to last for more than a onetime fuck."
Connor huffed out a breath. "What the hell am I supposed
to say to that?"
"Maybe you should understand that I'm not going to use
you to get off and respect the fact that I want to be with you."
Connor stood up, pacing away before turning back. "I do
respect it, probably more than I'm showing you. Eventually, I want you in my
bed, but I'm willing to wait for a bit. Not forever."
Mike sat up, watching Connor pace. "I probably should
get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning."
"Yeah, in the morning."
"Big guy, I really like you. Tomorrow we can talk about
what we both want from a relationship."
"Relationship?" Connor shivered. "Damn, that's
a scary word."
"That's why I'm not going to have sex with you right
now. I like you too much to not do a relationship."
Connor sat next to Mike, placing his hand on Mike's knee.
"Thanks."
"Sure." Mike kissed him on his cheek then stood and
headed into the bathroom. He closed the door and leaned against the cool wood.
Why had he said no? It would have been so good. But good wouldn’t cut it with
Connor, he needed it all.
*~*~*
Connor stretched and rolled over, noticing the sun shining in
through the blinds. He was tired of being so lazy. Maybe he shouldn't have quit
his job, but he'd needed a break. Riley's death had hit him hard. Layers and
layers of guilt wrapped around his chest, squeezing tightly, leaving him unable
to breathe. Every time in drew in a deep breath he thought he would die. But
that had lessened since Mike had showed up. Drinking wasn't the answer and he
knew that now, but it had felt so right at the time.
Lane and Gresh had been too nice, then he'd moved in here and
every inch of the place reminded him of Riley. Lane had come to see him and all
he could think of was Riley wanting Lane and Lane wanting Riley. Maybe if he'd
been a better lover or a better man Riley wouldn't have wanted Lane so much.
He heard a knock at his bedroom door and rolled over.
"It's open."
"Hey," Mike stuck his head in and smiled. "I
was going to make some breakfast. Would you like some pancakes?"
"Am I good enough?"
Mike's brows bunched up and he shook his head. "What? I
don't think I understood your question."
"Am I good enough?"
Mike stepped into the room, leaving the door open. He glanced
over his shoulder once before striding over to the bed, standing as if he
didn't know what to do. After a few seconds Mike sat on the bed then lay down next
to Connor. Mike pushed at Connor's shoulders. "Lift up."
Connor raised his shoulders off the bed and Mike wrapped his
arms around him. At first Mike was stiff, his body held rigid then he relaxed.
They stayed like that for a long while, Mike breathing in deeply while Connor
wondered if Mike would really like him once he realized how screwed up he was.
"When my parents were gunned down in front of me I was
pushed into foster care. The first foster family was mean. I was beaten by
Dean Wesley Smith, Kristine Kathryn Rusch
Martin A. Lee, Bruce Shlain