Free Looking for Love by Kathy Bosman Page B

Not like it
usually wasn’t. Somehow, it didn’t seem brotherly anymore. He
pulled her close to him so that her chest pressed against his and
he stroked her back, sending more shivers through her. She should
be imagining kissing Dirk. He was the one she wanted. Definitely
not Ross.
    She pinched
his arm.
    “ Ouch.” He blew the words into her face.
    She slapped
his chest. “Hey! You promised.”
    “ Promised what?”
    “ Never to do that.”
    “ I didn’t. It was merely
suggested. Years ago. Before—”
    “ Before what?” She didn’t want to
know. What difference did it make? Their friendship had been
hanging on the balance the last week, anyway.
    “ I realised I love you.”
    “ Oh, no! I just knew it. You’ve
messed up everything.” Anger pulsed through her. Her breath came in
gasps. She could kick him out but the look he gave her tugged at
her heart. This made things so much more complicated. How could she
hurt her friend? The guy who’d been there for her for so
long.
    But they couldn’t change the way things
were between them. It just wouldn’t work. Anyway, looking at him
now, he was too familiar. The same body form she’d studied for
years. Where would she find the sexual desires for him? Yeah, sure,
he could kiss well, but more than that? With someone she knew like
the back of her hand? Not possible.
    “ El, you look…” He took her
hands. “I couldn’t help kissing you. I wish you’d dress up like
that more often.”
    “ Well, it’s been over a year
since I’ve needed to and now you’re going to spoil it all… I’m
sorry, I don’t know how to handle this.” She hated that she pouted like a
spoiled kid but Ross had sent her mind into confusion.
    She slumped onto the couch on
her stomach and buried her face in a scatter cushion. He didn’t
make it any easier by sitting next to her and stroking her back in
the space
between the straps. She shivered again and tears came to her eyes
and smudged against the pillow and her cheeks. Bet she looked like
a stupid raccoon now.
    “ I love you, El. I’ve loved you for so long
but was so darned blind that I couldn’t see it at all. Until…I
don’t know. I just realised it a few months back.”
    “ So that’s why you’ve been acting
so strange.” She didn’t lift her head and revelled in his gentle
touch, trying to work out if it made her feel sexual. It couldn’t.
It shouldn’t. But it felt comforting. And tingly.
    “ I’m sorry I’ve been a bit short
with you lately. It’s not really anything to do with your business
or the house or work. It’s because I’ve been trying to pluck up the
courage to tell you, but every time I did, well, it just didn’t
seem the right time.” His eyes were steeped with softness when she
looked up into them.
    “ When your business started, I
didn’t like it. I was worried for you. Didn’t want you to get hurt
again. Then I realised I was getting in your way—becoming too
manipulative and bossing you around. I decided I’d better back off
a bit and forget the whole love thing because it changed the
dynamic between us—it made things toxic. But then when you told me
you had a date, well, I couldn’t sit back and pretend anymore. It
would have killed me to see you go with another man before you
found out how I feel about you. Not that I hoped for a positive
response. Well, I kind of hoped against all hope.”
    The tears turned into sobs that she tried
to stifle into the pillow. What was going on inside her? She didn’t
want to hurt him. This was horrible. And he was so sweet about it.
He gave the perfect love confession. Whatever girl nabbed him one
day would be the happiest woman in the whole world.
    “ Why are you crying?” He stroked her back and then bent down to
give her a squeeze.
    “ I don’t want to hurt you, Ross.”
    He pulled away and the stroking stopped.
Her heart felt as cold as the Arctic.
    “ I could try to make it happen
between us.” She sat up, not caring about the