Free Indian Country Noir (Akashic Noir) by Sarah Cortez;Liz Martinez Page B

Silent. Dark. Closed the door to that back
room, and when I did another opened with stairs moving tip
to a light.
    Went up high, walking on girders across the sky, not
afraid. Doing what I had to do. Walking in the steps of my
ancestors.
    I had to kill Medicine Snake Woman in my human heart
to keep her in my spirit's heart. To walk without fear in the
sky. To perform my duty to all my people.
    I stood. Rattled, creaked, and bled. Walked the broken
bits of my body step by step to the monster, staring hard at its
back, not listening to Medicine's panting, her small cries, the
rustle of her blouse, the sounds her bones made.
    She didn't belong to me. She was everybody's.
    Easy as stepping through clouds, I reached the monster while
it played with its catch and slid my hand through the gravel pit of
its back, sank my arm deep, to the shoulder, until I touched what
I knew I'd find. Everything alive has one. Even the ones who've
transgressed, just like the ones who stay pure and true.
    It was small and wet, but it beat hard and fast, like mine had when I'd held Medicine in my arms. The monster stiffened, squeezing Medicine to screaming and locking my elbow
to the breaking point. Another moment and my arm would
have been dead, and so would I.

    But I'd already closed my hand, crushing the monster's heart
until it was mud dripping through my fingers. The avalanche of
calcified souls collapsed, sending me flying back to keep from
being buried and crushed. I landed bad and took another knock
on the head. Decided to lay for a while and dream.
    If Grandpa was there, he wasn't talking first.
    You warned me, I said.
    Nothing.
    You helped me.
    He was playing hard to get.
    Why this time? I asked, spinning in my little lonely world.
Not that I don't appreciate the effort, but there're about a
hundred times I could name where I could've used the help.
Like that RPG in the market.
    This time, you were working with something from my world.
You needed more than dreams.
    You sorry I didn't listen?
    You do what you're going to do.
    Well, I got myself a monster. Does that make me a monster too?
    Grandpa didn't answer right away, so I did it for him: I
guess that's why they call it a curse. Or responsibility.
    Maybe you got some First in you after all.
    I gave her up. Killed her inside me.
    She's still with you. With everybody. She's carrying the medicine of our return from where the First came from. All the First,
and not just for one man, but for everybody. For everyone you're
keeping inside you, and the ones you let go.

    That's some powerful shit.
    Best there is.
    Something caressed my face, and I thought it was Medicine Snake Woman saying her farewell. But her touch was
cold and then I thought she was dead. I opened my eyes, resolving not to let my heart break again when I looked up at
her face. Instead of her, I saw the head of a giant white snake
over me, tongue tasting the air, one cold eye fixed on me.
    Your great-grandfather died because he killed his monster.
    Snake. Talking. I wasn't having it.
    That bridge collapse wasn't his fault.
    No, but battle has its cost.
    The design was flawed. The builders didn't correct it. I
looked it up.
    If your grandfather hadn't fought as long and hard as he did to
win, the weight would have held long enough for the men to leave
at day's end. But if he'd lost, far more terrible things would have
come to the Kahnawake. And to more. Your grandfather, he was
killed by the one that came for him.
    My heart jumped. Grandpa? You never told me.
    And terrible things followed. Fire. And blood. For the world.
    And Dad-my dad ...
    Your father was killed before his time came. You carried his
burden, as well as your own.
    So, what's the cost of my winning? Am I going to die? Is
my apartment building going to collapse-
    You paid your price, in your heart.
    I didn't like the way that sounded. Already, I was feeling
like I needed a way to let everything slide off of me. Maybe
even lose