Free Second Chance by Linda Kepner Page A

They accept or deny my application for an advanced degree, and I either receive the degree or I start again.”
    “And what do you get out of all this?” he asked intently.
    “The title of Doctor Bishou Howard, and three stripes on my gown,” Bishou replied with a smile. “Pretty silly, isn’t it?”
    “A man who is learning how to stuff cotton in the ends of cigarettes is not going to tell you three stripes on a gown are silly.”
    “Thank you for taking such a fair view of it. You’ve spoken very decently to me during this entire conference, and I appreciate it. I know the others don’t mean anything by their comments, but sometimes, they make it difficult for me.”
    “You have a dream and a purpose,” he said. “Do not lose either one. I know how — desolated — one can become, if one loses the dream. I had dreams once. At least I still have a purpose.”
    “What do you mean?” she asked.
    “My dreams — to marry, have a family, have a good life.” Louis stared toward the opposite wall introspectively. “That is all gone now, dust. But the purpose? Dessant Cigarettes, it keeps me going. To make a business that Etien can run when I am gone, and that will give a good life to his children after him.” He smiled at her, but the smile was sad. “That newspaper cannot tell it all. It cannot tell you what a good man Etien Campard is, how he saw the beginnings of my downfall, but knew I wouldn’t listen, how he tried to prevent my ruin. Nor how he gave me refuge and money when I was a criminal, and stood by me after my arrest. The newspaper cannot tell you all that Etien did to save me from my own passions, and failed. He pressed for my release from prison. He has always been my best friend. I owe him so much.”
    “The newspaper never even mentions Etien,” she said.
    “I am glad. It keeps him safe from the harpies. I tell you the truth, Bishou — I know whenever there is another article about Carola and me, because I get scores of letters from women who want to rehabilitate me. I will be a marked man all my life, the fallen one.”
    “Mmm-hmm.” Bishou folded her arms. “I could show you the letters from men telling me to give up my foolishness about getting a PhD in literature, a real woman doesn’t need that.”
    Again, that sad smile. “I suppose it is similar — give up the dream, it isn’t manly. Or maidenly. I am glad that you do not give up on your dreams, Bishou. Mine are gone. Etien says no, I must still dream, and I dare not tell him differently because he has been always right and I have been always wrong.”
    “You loved Carola very much, Louis. That was real.”
    One more sad smile. He reached into his pants pocket, pulled out a wallet, and handed a photograph to Bishou. An incredibly beautiful green-eyed woman wore a bridal veil over her blond hair and looked not quite at the camera, as if she didn’t really want her image captured forever.
    Bishou took a very long look, then handed it back. “She’s beautiful, Louis.”
    “Yes, she was. I lost my heart to her the first moment I saw her. Now Etien does not permit me to mention her name, and I must keep the photograph to myself. But this portrait has done its duty. When I showed it to the judges, they found extenuating circumstances for my crimes.”
    Louis put the photo back in his wallet and slid the wallet back in his pocket. Then he lay down on the couch. Bishou realized that his mind was far from here.
    She returned to her deskwork. For a long time, she just stared into space. Then, Bishou got a piece of paper, and started to write.

Chapter 6
    It was a long letter for a telegram, and was written in French. At the top were the date and the address: 7 Rue Calaincourt, F-1215 St. Denis, Ile de la Réunion. CONFIDENTIEL.
    Cher M. Howard,
    I am glad to receive your letter. I had a brief message from Louis, from Washington, saying he was on his way and the flight had been good. I suspect that you are correct, it is décalage