Free One More Kiss by Katherine Garbera Page B

where Jay was concerned and that she was contemplating letting him into her life, considering how badly he’d hurt her.
    “Yeah, right.”
    Staci was preparing croissants and had set the dough aside to rise, now she moved on to the doughnuts.
    “Did you sleep with him?” Staci asked in a low voice.
    “Staci!”
    “Well?”
    Alysse bit her lower lip. “I’m not going to answer that.”
    “That means you did. You still want him. Do you still love him?” Staci persisted.
    “I don’t know. I think he’s the reason all my dates have sucked so much and I want to be able to move on. I’m still not sure I can trust him or myself. He’s come back to figure out if he can have a life outside the Corps and apparently he wants me to be a part of it.”
    Alysse wasn’t too sure that was really what Jay was after, but that was what he’d said. She trusted him to a certain extent but it was hard to see him as the settled-down type. He hadn’t been four years ago; had what happened in the Middle East really changed him?
    “That’s great for him, but what do you want?” Staci asked. “I don’t know that guy, but you do. I’m not going to judge you.”
    “I thought I was over him,” Alysse said.
    It had been really disheartening last night to admit she wasn’t. She’d thought she had better self-preservation skills than that. “He broke my heart and I should have moved on, but he’s still there in the back of my mind and I judge every guy I meet by the man he was in Vegas.”
    “Not the man he is today?”
    She shrugged. “I’m not really sure who he is. I don’t know that he knows either. I’m telling myself that I’m going to see him and sort out how to...”
    “Hurt him?” Staci supplied.
    She shook her head. “I thought so, but I couldn’t do it. I just want to be able to move on with my life. I want to enjoy being single and I can’t until I know what it is about Jay that makes me like him.”
    “I hope it’s that easy,” Staci said.
    She did, too, but if the sleepless night she’d spent was any indication, nothing was going to be easy about this thing with Jay.
    * * *
    J AY RAN ALONG the beach and tried to clear his mind. Frankly though, there wasn’t a safe place for it to go. He’d already scanned the area in front and behind him. It didn’t matter that he was in San Diego on Coronado Island, a part of him just couldn’t relax. The other part of his mind kept replaying last night—every damned second of it. Physical exhaustion had seemed like the only means out of the endless cycle of images of Alysse, but it wasn’t. His room felt like a prison when he got back there and he wondered what normal people did on vacations. He couldn’t imagine spending too much time in this place. He felt boxed-in and edgy.
    He showered and changed and got on his bike and drove without a destination in mind, but he wasn’t too shocked when he found himself parked down the street from Sweet Dreams. It was the one place he wanted to be. But he knew that he couldn’t just show up at her bakery. She was working and he had commitments of his own.
    He was meeting Lucien at ten this morning and he decided that had to be his priority right now. But Alysse was winning the battle in his mind. He had let things go too far last night and, as hard as it was for him to admit, making love to her might have actually hurt his chances of getting back together with her.
    He cast aside the disturbing thought, put his sunglasses on and roared away from the curb. He drove to the offices of Company B. The name gave Jay a chuckle since Lucien and the other men who’d formed it were all from Bravo or B Company. He parked the bike and entered the impressive office building, feeling the cool air conditioning brush over his skin. The receptionist was a pretty California blonde.
    She smiled up at him and Jay wondered why everything couldn’t be as uncomplicated as this girl. Why hadn’t he just taken those divorce papers from