Free His 'n' Hers by Mike Gayle Page B

knew that we weren’t going to watch the video. And . . . well, I don’t want to go into the details but we started kissing in the hallway and then before we knew it we were in my room and you can guess the rest. So, anyway, I woke up this morning and she was lying next to me so I said, “Morning, stranger,” because I thought it would be a reasonably amusing thing to say. She didn’t reply. She just sort of sloped out of my bed, picked up as many of her clothes as she could from the bedroom floor and left the room.’
    ‘Doesn’t sound good at all,’ says Nick. ‘What did you do?’
    ‘Well, I just lay there in bed, staring at the poster on the wall in front of me.’
    ‘The one of Bob Marley smoking a large “herbal” cigarette?’
    ‘The very same. So I asked the great reggae legend – who had observed everything that had happened in that bedroom in the last twelve hours – what he reckoned had gone wrong. He didn’t reply, of course, possibly because there was no need to. It was obvious what was going on. Alison’s guilt complex over Damon was kicking in big-time. I got dressed, came out and sat on the stairs just as she was shoving her right foot into her left trainer. It took a while but eventually she got them on the right way round and announced offhandedly that she was leaving. I didn’t reply. I had no idea how to play this. So I just sort of decided to let her get on with it.’
    ‘And she left?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘Without saying another word?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    Nick laughs. ‘Did she take the video with her?’
    ‘No,’ I say, barely raising a smile. ‘Maybe she feels really guilty about what happened; maybe she doesn’t want to call it off with Damon.’
    ‘You’re probably right. She’s been with him a long time. Right through university until now. It takes a lot of guts to end something like that, even if it’s not working.’
    ‘Good point. So, what do you think I should do?’
    ‘Do you like her?’ I nod. ‘Then you’ve got to do something that lets her know you mean business. Something that says this wasn’t just about one night. It was about her being the One. Something that shows you’re going to be around for a long time to come.’
    ‘I know exactly the thing,’ I say, as I pick up my pint. ‘She’ll love it.’
    2.55 p.m.
    I’m lying in bed still thinking about what a mess I’ve made of things when someone knocks on my bedroom door.
    ‘Ally?’
    It’s Jane.
    ‘I’m asleep,’ I reply, from under my duvet, ‘Come back later.’
    Jane comes in and sits down on the bed next to me. ‘Where were you last night? I was really worried when I got back from mum and dad’s.’
    I pop my head up from under the covers. ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I reply. ‘I should’ve left a note or something. I wasn’t thinking.’
    ‘Anyway, I just thought you ought to know Damon called this morning.’
    ‘Did he ask where I was?’
    ‘I told him you’d got food poisoning and that you’d been throwing up all night and were sleeping it off.’
    ‘Couldn’t you have just told him I was out?’
    ‘I didn’t know when you’d be back, did I?’ says Jane, reasonably.
    I sigh heavily for my own benefit. ‘You’re really good to me, you know that?’
    ‘Yeah, I do. So where were you last night, then?’
    ‘At . . . at . . . Jim’s.’
    ‘As in Jim Owen?’
    ‘I bumped into him last night. Typical, really. We wanted the same video. And guess what? He lives across the road from us. You know the house with the Jim Morrison poster in the window? Number thirty-six? That’s him and Nick.’
    ‘And you still both fancy each other after all this time?’
    ‘I don’t think I ever stopped liking him.’
    ‘So what happened?’
    ‘He suggested we watch it at his place . . . and, well, you can guess the rest. Thing is, I was really awful to him this morning. I felt guilty about Damon and left without saying anything. He must hate me now.’
    ‘He doesn’t hate you,