Free Loving Mr. July by Margaret Antone Page B

arms around me, practically hug me on the floor. I leaned into
him once, just to see what he’d do. He immediately stepped away.
And when I do the free weights, he’s forever correcting my
positions, moving my arms, putting his hand on my waist. And he
smells fantastic and—”
    Sharon’s peal of laughter made her stop
talking to look up.
    “I’m baring my soul here and you’re
laughing?” She started to rise in a huff.
    Sharon stilled her with a light touch. “Oh
Cynthia.” She managed to talk in between taking breaths and
laughing some more. “If you could just hear yourself.”
    “What?”
    “You’re describing a man who is putting all
kinds of moves on you. And you don’t even see it.”
    “He is not,” Cynthia said crossly. “If you
saw his face when all this is happening, you would know what I
mean.”
    “And I bet you haven’t once given him any
indication that you’re attracted, right? I mean, I wouldn’t have
known, based on my observations of you around him, except that
you’ve just told me differently.”
    “Well no,” Cynthia admitted. “But that’s
different. I mean most guys would try something. ”
    Sharon shook her head. “Only oafs who aren’t
all that good at reading boundaries will move on a woman who hasn’t
given at least an inkling of interest. And Kurt has had enough
experience to know.”
    “What experience?” Cynthia scoffed. “Every
woman I’ve ever seen throws themselves at him.”
    “My point exactly.” Sharon topped off their
coffees. “Think about it. Any other woman who he makes that much
physical contact with would probably have given him ten flashing
green lights by now.”
    “You think he was waiting for my
encouragement?” Cynthia stared at Sharon, incredulous.
    “It’s a theory.”
    Cynthia started laughing. “It’s a ridiculous
theory. The guy can have any girl he wants. Why would he want a fat
woman with issues?”
    “Okay, now you’re making me mad,” Sharon
said. She got up circled the kitchen, blew out a few breaths, and
came back to lean over the table. “I know you had a crappy
childhood. I know it’s taken you a while to learn how to deal with
it. But hiding behind the ‘I’m fat’ thing is getting old. As Kurt’s
helped you prove, one of the big contributors to the whole weight
thing has been your distinct aversion to exercise.”
    She scowled and put up a hand when Cynthia
tried to say something. “Let me finish. I know you’ve eaten your
feelings. I get that. And I’m not saying you didn’t have reason to.
And I know you’re short, so you can’t eat as much as us taller
people. But at some point, you need to deal with the hand you’ve
been given and figure out how you want to live. You don’t have any
medical conditions. Yet.” She gave Cynthia a warning glance.
    Cynthia remained silent.
    Sharon raised her hand, started counting on
her fingers. “You’re smart. Funny. Loyal. Good-hearted.
Pretty.”
    Cynthia shook her head.
    “Don’t argue with me.” Sharon jabbed a finger
in Cynthia’s arm. “You’re a whole lot more hung up on the whole
weight thing than anyone else is. If it’s such an issue to you, do
something about it. If not, then shut up about it.” She sat down,
blew out a breath. “And I’m telling you this because you’re my best
friend and if I’m not honest with you, no one will be.”
    Cynthia felt tears coming to her eyes. “Been
bottling that one up for a while, have you?”
    “I’m sorry, Cyn.” Sharon looked
distressed.
    Cynthia got up and walked around the table to
hug her friend. “Don’t be. Because you’re right. I don’t have any
medical or other excuse to stay fat. These last couple of weeks
with Kurt have shown me more than ever that it’s a numbers game.
Strictly calories in, calories out. I have been making
excuses. And I know you care.”
    Sharon nodded, weeping a little.
    “And, uh, Sharon,” Cynthia said, peering
intently into her friend’s face, “is it possible