Free Purpose by Andrew Q Gordon Page A

gunpowder, reek of PCP, or come back with pockets full of drug money. No one died, though someone might wish they had. Routine said take a shower, meditate, and try to fall asleep. But tonight had been anything but routine.
    Standing in the doorway, he watched his guest. Curled up on his side, holding the pillow, he looked younger than his years. How could someone so innocent think he could make it selling himself on the street? Worse, why would his family allow it to happen?
    Anger welled inside him. Another emotion he’d done without for so long. Now it felt… felt what? Right? No, not that. Necessary. Gar withered under the emotional barrage and moved into the background. Will wondered if he could continue to switch his emotions off when he needed to be detached. If not, then what?
    Will stepped out of his shoes, and Ryan didn’t stir. He was good at stealth. So good he didn’t need to try anymore. It came naturally. It didn’t matter if Ryan woke up. He wasn’t hiding, but it also made no sense to wake him. Ryan looked peaceful. At least one of them deserved that.
    Slipping his shirt over his head, he kept to his schedule. Ryan’s breathing hadn’t changed, so he finished undressing, heading for the shower.
    Two days ago, a shower was nothing more than water rolling over his body. Something he did to keep a link to his humanity. Last night changed that. Not only did he find himself thinking under the sprays, things… happened.
    Streams of water pelted his hair as he stood inches from the showerhead. Ryan had showered before going to bed. The moisture in the bathroom spoke of that. But it didn’t surprise him when Ryan’s breathing changed and the bed creaked. Clearly more than one of them was partial to a “routine.”
    “You can come in if you like.” Shuffling his feet, he faced the back of the shower.
    The curtain parted. “How’d…? Never mind.”
    Stepping in, Ryan was already excited. Will had promised if they waited one day, they’d do more than sleep. The day was up.
    “Where did you go?” Ryan whispered, sounding like he didn’t care.
    “Does it matter?” Will’s body expressed its opinion that Ryan’s visit was welcome.
    Moving closer, Ryan never took his eyes from Will’s. “Not right now it doesn’t.”
    Laying his hands on Will’s chest, Ryan stared at the connection. Did he expect something would happen? The slight pressure of fingers massaging his chest reminded Will that he could still feel.
    Pressing their groins together, Ryan slipped his hands around Will’s chest, under his arms, and let them rest on his back. Their hearts beat almost in unison, both anxious and willing.
    “I gave you a day.” The voice was small but firm. When Ryan looked up, his eyes locked onto Will’s. “You said you wouldn’t say no.”
    “I won’t.” Devoid of passion, the voice was not cold either.
    Ryan mashed their bodies tighter, bringing his head closer to Will’s. “I want to kiss you, Will. Is that allowed?”
    Laughing at Ryan would not help, so he let his amusement come out as a smile. “It’s allowed.”
    Thirty years of denial didn’t seem real when their lips met. His walls didn’t crash, nor did the flood of feelings from his old life overwhelm him. It felt like he had never changed.
    The tongue that tentatively touched his lips was answered. The slow, hesitant movement quickly gave way to a more deliberate exploration. When they moved back, Will kissed him gently on the forehead.
    “Let me wash up and we can go back to bed.”
    Ryan shook his head. “No, let me clean you. Then we can go.” With a small, impish grin on his lips, Ryan peered up even as he fumbled to find the soap. He ran the white bar across Will’s chest, down to his stomach, and below. The careful touch on his genitals forced Will to close his eyes, enjoying the sensation.
    Light pressure turned him around so Ryan could wash his back. Deft fingers glided over his tight muscles, across his butt, and