Free Schmidt Delivered by Louis Begley Page B

without buying anything like my interest in a house, or making me a loan, or investing in my business. I can’t figure you out. You think Harry and I want you to own our business? We’d be working for you. I don’t know about Harry, but I’d rather work for Marden Bush.
    Ah.
    Her eyes filled with tears.
    Now, now, Charlotte. Can’t we discuss this calmly? It is, after all, a business matter.
    Forget it. It’s like Renata said. You need to control my life. If I let you, everything’s peaches and cream. The moment I don’t, it’s Schmidtie the Hun.
    Yes, Dr. Renata Riker. Why hadn’t he strangled her, in plain sight of the afternoon crowd on Fifth Avenue, after their first and only lunch tête-à-tête? Help, help! Voices have told me I had better waste that shrink before she wastes me.No American jury would have taken more than five minutes to acquit him: self-defense or in the worst case not guilty by reason of insanity. He might not even have had to stand trial. Now it was too late.
    Look, he said. You are asking for a lot of money. Nevertheless, you are quite right to think I am able to give it to you and go on living as I do.
    She snickered.
    Easy does it, Schmidt counseled Schmidtie the Hun. Don’t pay attention.
    The point is that the gift tax has not yet been abolished, he told her. If I make a gift, I will have to pay the federal government and New York State a tax of more than seventy percent on top of what you want me to give you. That, too, isn’t the end of the world, although when you put the two together, the gift and the tax on the gift, it means parting, all of a sudden, with a large sum I hadn’t counted on spending. On the other hand, you are my only child, and I suppose no one can fault you if you expect to inherit from me. But that’s when I die, not right now. There will be an estate tax too when I do kick the bucket. That’s why some tax planners would say that it’s smart to make gifts and pay the gift tax because then the money I’ve used to pay the tax will not be in my estate and won’t be taxed on my death.
    Wow, Dad!
    No need to be sarcastic. It’s good tax advice, although I am not sure it fits my case. I am in good health and seem to take after my father, who lived to be very old. I might need every cent of my money to pay for a nursing home!
    There was no telling whether she was listening. The hurt in her face had turned into bored gloom. What the hell, he might as well finish his speech. Trying not to hear his own words—the speech, he admitted to himself, was tiresome—he continued: Especially if the business you and Mr. Polk start doesn’t take off. If that was the case, if I made you a loan or invested, I wouldn’t have paid the gift tax and might be able to write off the loss on my loan or investment. That’s how sensible people plan their financial affairs.
    I get it. Let’s just skip the whole thing. I’ll talk to Harry. Maybe we’ll just stay where we are.
    Do talk to him. And think over what I have said. Look, sweetie, please get it into your head that if you decide you don’t want a loan and don’t want me to invest in your business, but you do want me to make you a gift, the money is yours for the asking, tax or no tax. But I want to meet Harry Polk first, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable that I ask to see a business plan. That’s for your protection. People used to pay a lot of money to get my judgment on that sort of thing. For you, it’s free.
    Very funny. I guess I should say thank you.
    You might, and you are welcome. When is all this supposed to happen?
    We thought of giving notice like next week and then going on vacation. I’m beat.
    Would you come here? I’d love it.
    Dad!
    It was just an idea.
    He had really better stop the automatic speech and automatic ideas. This was a lousy one. How could he imagine that Charlotte would want to spend a couple of weeks with him and Carrie, and how could he make the offer without first asking Carrie?