Free The Stranger Inside by Melanie Marks Page B

lingering. I could have definitely gotten used to this, his soft lips, his warm kisses. But that’s not what I wanted.
     I pulled away. “Friends, Sawyer.”
    “Yeah. Friends,” he murmured in my mouth, still holding me tight, still kissing me.
    One way or another we went through this every day. I liked him. I wouldn’t have really minded getting romantic with him. But I couldn’t risk losing our friendship for the thrill of a few passionate kisses. I needed him too much. And I could tell he went through girls really quick.
    “Sawyer, come on. Stop it, okay?”
    He pulled away from me, looking frustrated. “Are you always going to be like this? Are you always going to push me away?”
    “I don’t know, no, maybe. Sawyer, I need a friend.”
    He ran his hands through his hair, watching me take a step away from him. “Why do you act like if we get physical we can’t still be friends?”
    “Because,” I stopped, frustrated, wishing I had the right words, that I could make him understand without getting all emotional—without explaining I’d been dumped and it ripped me apart and I could never, ever go through that again, ever.
    I bit my lip, then sighed, kind of swerving around the complicated issues, but still spilling facts I knew were true. “Then it’s different. Everything changes.”
     “Look, change is a good thing.” He edged closer, taking my hands in his. He nuzzled my neck. “I’m into change.”
    “See, that’s what I’m afraid of.” I swallowed, staring down at his warm hands—hands I wouldn’t mind holding for a long, long time. They were strong and comforting. I wanted—needed—to have them around. Even right now, while I was an emotional disaster. Especially right now. But later too. “Guys change girlfriends all the time. I don’t want to get dumped, I can’t afford it.” I stared up into his eyes. “You’re the only friend I have.”
     Sawyer shook his head, knitted his brow. “Man, Jodi, I promise you, give me what I want and I’ll be the best friend you ever had.”
    I pulled away from him. “Give you what you want?” That was a scary statement. It had me sweating. “What do you want?”
    “Look, just don’t push me away.”
    “Sawyer, come on.” Ugh! I rubbed my forehead with the heels of my hands. “I just want to be friends. Right now I can’t handle anything more than that. I don’t want complications. Just a friend.”
    Sawyer shook his head. “I told you from the beginning—I want more.”
    I swallowed hard, trying to keep down the lump in my throat from growing more. I’d had all these plans—Sawyer and me being friends, hanging out, going to school together. I liked him. And I couldn’t go to Roosevelt alone. I just couldn’t. I needed someone with me. Someone to be my friend. And it couldn’t be Parker. Parker could be my friend, but when I faced Jeremy—when I saw him again—I needed someone to hold on to. I needed Sawyer.
    But I could tell Sawyer was ready to dump me. Probably, in his next breath. Date him, don’t date him—it seemed I lost either way. And his arms were nice and warm. His kisses too.
    I exhaled. “Okay, what exactly do you want?” Kissing him wouldn’t exactly be torture—kind of the complete opposite. “Maybe … I could just give it to you.”
    “Thanks.” He gave a tight smile. “But believe it or not, I don’t usually have to force girls to let me kiss them.” He rubbed his neck, gazing up at the ceiling, then back at me. He let out a breath. “Look, I told you from the beginning what I wanted. I was honest with you, but you weren’t with me. Not really.”
    I stopped him before he could fully get the sentence out. His kisses were beyond nice. They weren’t magic and beautiful like Jeremy’s, but they were tingly and I had to get over Jeremy. I had to. This was a step I probably needed to take. Okay, I didn’t feel ready to take it, but it had been three years. I should be ready. A normal person would