Free Regret List by Jessica Billings Page A

I reached down for my dress as I prepared to get kicked out.
What would I tell my friends? The school? There was a strange
rushing sound in my ears and the world seemed to go a little gray.
But to my surprise, his dad just turned away and began cleaning up
the dishes in the kitchen.
    “Hi Dad,” Jason returned. “This is Paige.”
    “Nice to meet you, Paige,” he murmured over the
clinking of silverware. “I hear you’re going to the dance with my
son.”
    “Yes,” I said shortly, rising from my seat and
leaving my sandwich mostly untouched. “I should probably go. I’ve
got a lot of homework to do this weekend.” I rushed out of the
house, bag in tow, not waiting to see either of their
reactions.
    “Wait,” Jason called from the door. “Do you need a
ride home?”
    “I’ll be fine!” I hollered, walking quickly enough to
leave a slight dust trail behind me. “See you Monday.”
    “Okay, see you Monday.” He sounded slightly
mystified, but I heard the door slam shut and I managed a sigh of
relief. Wondering if his dad would tell him and what kind of
reaction I would receive on Monday, I slung the bag over my
shoulder and plodded down the road, kicking a pinecone in front of
me. I was halfway down the block before I heard a car pull up
behind me. My breath caught in my throat and I turned to see
Jason’s dad, silently waiting in his car. He motioned me over and
the passenger side window rolled down. I slunk over to the window,
feeling like I might wet myself at any moment.
    “Hey,” I said.
    “Hey.” We were silent for a moment, then he gestured
toward the door. “Why don’t you hop in.”
    “’Kay.” I opened the car door and slid into the seat,
laying my dress on top of my knees and staring at the
dashboard.
    “When my son told me he was taking a girl named Paige
to the school dance, I didn’t realize it was you he was referring
to.” I nodded silently. “You know who he is?”
    “Yes, sir.” I had never called a man “sir” in my life
before, but if any time was the right time, it was then.
    He absorbed the information and his response was slow
in coming. “It’s clear he’s not quite as informed as you, but I
suppose that’s your decision. I’m not going to get involved in
this.”
    “You won’t tell him?” I finally met his gaze in
astonishment. “Why?”
    He looked at me for a few moments before speaking.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re just a girl who lost her dad.” He
shifted the car into drive. “Now put on your seatbelt. I’ll drive
you home.”
    I didn’t really understand what he meant at the time,
but I think I get it now. Some things, you just can’t control and
it’s not fair to hate someone because of the family they come from.
I don’t know if he was right not to let his son in on what was
going on, but I guess he just wanted Jason to be happy. Whatever
the reason, his dad kept his word. Sometimes I think it would have
been so much simpler, so much better if Jason found out right away,
but that just didn’t happen.

Chapter 5
     
    The homecoming dance was like a dream. I think when
most girls say that, they mean it was too perfect to be true, but
for me, it literally felt like a dream – totally fake. We all
waltzed in, arms interlocked with the boys, music thumping through
our bones, intermeshing between all the other bodies. The farther
we stepped into the gym, the tighter the crowd became and I was
pressed up against Jason, close enough to smell the piney, earthy
scent that came from his body. We all jostled around against each
other, squealing when our favorite songs came on. We weren’t
dancing exactly, just bouncing, feeling the floor move under our
combined energy.
    I felt Jason putting his arms around me, but I found
it surprisingly difficult to look up at him, to meet his eyes. I
kept wondering what Asher was up to, if he was still annoyed that I
had blown him off for lunch last week in order to see Jason. He
found out, of course. He