Free A Life Less Ordinary by Baby Halder Page B

three days.”
    At this, he put the bag down and, without saying anything to me, went off to work. Foolishly, I had thought I would earn a few rupees this way. Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn’t said anything at all.
    The next morning he was drinking tea when I said to him, “Please bring some rice, otherwise I will not be able to cook.”
    â€œBut you said you had enough for two or three days,” he said.
    â€œIf you pay me, I will cook that rice.” He started to laugh but he did not say anything.
    â€œDon’t you think I need money for some small expenses?” I said. “You will never buy anything for me, and if you don’t give me at least some money, how do you expect me to manage? I can’t buy anything if I want to! Everyone here buys something or the other now and again, but what about me? I just stand and watch.”
    â€œHere, take this,” he said, and handed me ten rupees.
    â€œTwo, three kilos of rice for just ten rupees? I will not give you my rice for this pittance.”
    He started to laugh so I said, “Don’t laugh. I have saved this by eating a little less every day, but if this is all you’re going to give me then I will not save rice like this anymore.”
    â€œOf course, you don’t get anything to eat here! I suppose you think it’s your father who feeds you, I don’t give you anything at all.”
    â€œWhat do you give me,” I asked, “other than a few morsels to eat? Do you think I have no desires at all in my life? Every morning you give me the same handful of rice and vegetables, and it never occurs to you how I will make do with so little. You eat your fill and get up, without once asking me if I have eaten or not, whether my stomach is full or not.” But all this had no effect on him.
    I thought I should say more, but just then Ma arrived. We made desultory conversation and then she asked me if I had been to the hospital. When I told her I hadn’t and she realized that my pregnancy was nearly full-term, she said, “Come on, come along with me. We’d better make arrangements for when the child arrives.” My husband listened to all this and did not say a word even as I got my things ready. I left with Ma.
    The first two or three days in Ma and Baba’s house were pleasant enough, and then their bickering began again. This time round, things seemed much worse and then one day, Baba really lost his temper. He said to Ma, “You’re a fine one, you brought the girl here promising her peace and quiet and now that she is here, you fight with her about every little thing.” Ma muttered something in reply, I could not make out what it was, and Baba began to shake with anger. He was so furious that he began to beat her. He was shouting at her and she at him. I tried hard to get them to calm down, but they were in no mood to listen. Then my temper began to rise. I thought, Are these people unable to spend even one day in peace? “I made a mistake in coming here,” I said to Ma. “If my coming causes you such trouble, I don’t know why you asked me to come at all. You should have just left me there. Oh, God, what have I done to deserve this, is there no peace for me anywhere?” As I said this, I began to beat my head.
    Baba rushed toward me—perhaps he was afraid that I might hurt myself—and made as if to pick me up. Then he looked at Ma and held back. Standing there, he said, “Don’t cry, child, please don’t cry.” This made me even angrier than ever, and I began to wail even more loudly. Then he turned to Ma: “Rani, stop her, otherwise she will die. Oh, God,” he cried, “what have I done? What has happened to my daughter?”
    He called out to a neighbor, “Brother, look at my daughter. Why is she doing this? What has come over her?” The neighbor came and stood a little way away, calling across, “Baby?