Free Unscripted by Natalie Aaron and Marla Schwartz Page A

usually eat something like salmon and cucumber in the morning, a salad for lunch—no dressing, of course, and for dinner, just some organic chicken. And definitely no alcohol.” Nancy looks pointedly at my drink.
    I glance down at my mojito and wonder how many calories are actually swimming in that bowl of booze. Ahh fuck it. I take an enormous sip and sigh. “Well I’m happy for you, but I could never eat fish for breakfast, even if I had enough yeast in my body to bake a loaf of rye.”
    “Of course you could. It’s all about positive thinking and setting your intention. I don’t even miss sugar or bread.”
    Before Nancy can go off on one of her self-help sermons, I see Stephanie walking toward us. She too looks amazing. She’s wearing brown leather pants and a flowing silk top that perfectly frames her Victoria’s Secret-catalogue body.
    Nancy and I say our hellos and take turns giving Stephanie a hug. “I love that outfit,” gushes Nancy.
    “Thanks. I had a shit day at work. Just shoot me now. Better yet, just give me some fucking alcohol.”
    Ahh, Stephanie, always the beacon of light in a world full of darkness.
    The three of us manage to find a semi-quiet booth in the back where we can catch up without shouting over the blaring music.
    “So guess what?” I ask as the girls flip through their mustard-colored menus.
    “You’re pregnant,” jokes Stephanie.
    “Um, that would be an Immaculate Conception. Actually, Zoë and Jeff are engaged.”
    Nancy beams at me. “That’s amazing. How did he do it?”
    “Under duress,” I mutter, but feel instantly guilty as soon as the words tumble out of my mouth. “I mean, she sort of did the ultimatum thing, but they were probably going to get married anyway.”
    I look at Stephanie as she shakes her head and continues to study her menu. “Poor guy.”
    Nancy tsks her disapproval in Stephanie’s direction. “Good for Zoë. I mean, she’s almost thirty-five, right? I totally understand why she gave him an ultimatum.”
    “Well I’m thirty-four. So what does that mean for me?” Stephanie asks curtly.
    “So, what’s new with you, Nancy?” I ask, desperate to change the topic that I stupidly brought up.
    “Well, I met someone,” she says as she thrusts her wrist in front of Stephanie’s face and mine. “And he just gave me this gorgeous Tiffany charm bracelet today. Isn’t that sweet? It has cats on it because he knows how much I love them.”
    I take Nancy’s wrist into my own hand, studying the delicate sterling silver bracelet. “That’s so sweet. I had no idea. You never even mentioned him to me. How did you guys meet?”
    Stephanie takes a swig of her vodka on the rocks and plops it back down on the table. “They met on JDate.”
    “That Jewish dating service?” I ask. “But you’re not Jewish,” I say, confused.
    “I know, but I’ve always seemed to really connect with Jewish men. Plus, a lot of them are Buddhists. He’s not, but he’s very spiritual.”
    “But you’re not a Buddhist either,” I say.
    “No, but I’ve been reading about it a lot lately, and I’m interested in exploring it. He’s so amazing. Our first date was at the Bikram Yoga place in Silverlake and it was perfect. We have a real spiritual connection.”
    “Wait. So, you’re telling me that you sat there in a downward dog, sweating your asses off for an hour, and that was your perfect date? I’m sorry, but that’s kind of nasty,” balks Stephanie.
    I choke a bit on my drink.
    “Oh, Stephanie, I know it’s going to happen for you one day too. I think he’s the one,” she says, barely at a whisper. “I can’t wait for you guys to meet him.”
    “You hardly know him,” Stephanie interjects. “Aren’t you sort of jumping into things a bit?”
    Nancy stares at Stephanie for a second. “This isn’t about how long we’ve known each other. I think he might be my soul mate.”
    Stephanie rolls her eyes. “Nancy, you’ve been on five dates with the