Free In the Pond by Ha Jin Page B

ratio of a bulldozer and shovels and picks, which initially looked very simple, took him almost an hour. After that, his eyes began aching, yet he compelled himself to do as much as he could. Time and again he looked through the four large sheets — most of the problems were well beyond his knowledge. He was sweating all over and kept murmuring to himself, I shouldn’t be here.
    He looked around. The others were all busy writing.The room was so quiet that he heard their pens rustling. He gazed at the faces on the right and then on the left; the boys and girls were so young; by contrast, he was almost old enough to be their father. It was foolish for him to compete with these fully educated teenagers, to seek humiliation. He felt heartbroken, but he reined in his wandering mind and forced himself to work on another verbal problem.
    The bell rang. Every page of his exam paper remained almost blank, and he felt so embarrassed that he turned the sheets over when handing them back to the teacher. Walking out of the schoolhouse with others who were chattering, comparing notes, and complaining, Bin felt uncertain about even the few problems he had solved. Perhaps he had not given any correct answer. He tried to forget the math and pull himself together for the next exam, though from time to time a miserable feeling overwhelmed him.
    Despite his dark mood, he ate six eggs at noon. He sat under a large elm at the side of a playground, leafing through his notes and reviewing the answers to some general political questions. The pagoda trees around him had shed their blossoms, but there was still a touch of the sweetish scent in the air. In the shade of the trees some parents were busy serving lunch and fanning their teenage children, who were resting for the next exam. The sight of parental love made Bin feel lonely. Nobody had ever treated him with such care; his father had oftenkicked him and whipped his backside with wickers. “A man has to stand alone,” he mumbled.
    Politics came next. At the first part — the multiple-choice section, he was baffled after looking through the questions. It took him almost five minutes to decide on the first choice, on which he was supposed to use no more than one minute. Then he made a prompt decision and ticked all the B’s as the answers to the remaining eleven questions. He wanted to save time for the major part, the four short essays, in which he could bring his pen into full play. He spent over two hours on them and wrote long and well, especially the one on the criterion of truth. But he hadn’t completed the section on the History of the Chinese Communist Party before the bell tinkled in the hallway. If only he could have had ten more minutes. Yet on the whole, the political exam was much less difficult to him.
    Still, as he turned in the sheets and left the room, his legs felt heavy, as though a pair of sandbags had been attached to the calves. He couldn’t help repeating to himself, I’m old, and shouldn’t compete with these smart kids. Again he regretted having attempted the exams. Without any hesitation he had put his face on show. There could be no chance for him to pass, and no school would take a man his age. In fact, only about 1 or 2 percent of these youths would be admitted by a college; even if he had scored good marks, his chance would have remained close to zero.
    Bin shared a dormitory room at the school with three boys who couldn’t return home for the night. Though he had forgotten to bring along a blanket, it wasn’t too bad; the lodging was free, and the boys were quiet, all busy cramming for the next day.
    Normally, the Chinese language and literature should have been easy for him, but he didn’t do well on the last exam. The translation of ancient Chinese into the modern language was fine; the identification of the authors of some lines of classical poetry went well too; there was no problem in the sentence making and the phrase forming either. The trouble