Free The Pleasure Seekers by Tishani Doshi Page B

experience it once in your life or not at all. Some have described it as entering into a dark cave with no beginning or end. Some have said it’s like feeling your heart burn on a slow fire. This Ekam, once you have it, you’ll believe that you can eradicate all the guilt in the world, all the pollution and misfortune.’
    ‘Did you ever feel this Ekam with anyone else?’
    ‘No,’ said Ba wistfully, ‘That remains for me in another lifetime. But your other grandparents – your mother’s parents – they had this special kind of love. The people in Ganga Bazaar still talk about it – the love between Ravi Lal Mehta and the temple cleaner Gurvanthi. It ended in tragedy, though. She died giving birth to your mother, and he went a bit mental after that.’
    ‘Wonderful,’ said Babo. ‘What if my love ends in a tragedy too? What if she grows tired of waiting, and I’m left with this feeling, my whole life unfulfilled. I will die, surely I will. Tell me, Ba, can you die of sadness?’
    ‘You can die for all sorts of stupid reasons, including a scorpion bite,’ said Ba, gently leaning over to flick away the scorpion that had been edging closer and closer to Babo. ‘Now go to sleep. You’ve found what most people never find. Be happy. And Babo,’ she said, before turning to blow out the lantern, ‘You really must stop watching so many movies. You’re getting very filmy these days.’
    ‘It’s a burning, Ba,’ Babo whispered, before falling asleep. ‘Love is definitely a burning.’
    As Babo slept, Ba stroked his curls and thought of her husband, who had died early of a disease they had no names for then, and her son, who seemed to have entered the world with a set of values and a consciousness she’d played no part in shaping. These were men she should have loved, but in reality, their absence or presence had played such a peripheral role in her life. This grandson, though, with all his desires – he stood at the centre of her world, and she wanted him to be released. She wanted his love for the Welsh girl to unfold like a lotus and gleam. It would happen. The girl would come. But until she did, Babo would have to wait, and Ba would wait with him; standing, breathing, knock knock knocking beside him.

6  This is the World. Have Faith
    38 Canfield Gardens ,
    London
    15 October 1969
     
    Darling ,
    I received your letter dated 28 August only yesterday! I hope you’ve managed to sort out the beard situation by now! I can’t believe you’re being so stubborn about this, love. I mean, hasn’t everyone already accepted that I’m going to be in India by the end of the year, unless something dreadful happens between now and then – like one of us dies or something? There’s no need to keep your vow – which was, in any case, something to antagonize your parents with. I think Ba is quite right in saying that if you’re going to persist with this beard business you must take care to groom it instead of letting it go helter-skelter. I must admit, though, I would love to see what you look like now. I can just picture you two under the trees – Ba oiling your beard and then plaiting it up! What a sight you must look. My own little sadhu .
    What very different lives we’re leading at the moment. In some ways, I’m jealous of you. You’re cocooned in some magical place, buoyed up with this incredible love that your grandmother seems to emanate. Meanwhile, I’m in London – and the talk here is WAR. All the time. Vietnam, the Middle East. I’m sick of it. Nixon and Spiro and that fool Harold Wilson. Shameful. There’s a National Moratorium anti-war demonstration taking place in Washington DC today – I’m sure you must be getting regular bulletins even in Anjar – so I won’t prattle on except to say that it continues, this unrelenting greed and violence .
    Otherwise, though, I’m exactly where you left me. Commuting between Finchley Road and Wandsworth. In some ways, the routine of the week helps