Free My Heart is Yours by Amanda Morey Page A

without
him.
    ***

 
    A couple of days later,
Sam was getting ready for Derek’s funeral. His funeral , she
thought. He shouldn’t be dead. She pulled her black knee
length scoop neck dress over her head; followed by the sheer black
shall. The same outfit she had worn to her parent’s funeral.
    She thought back to Derek’s wakes. She’d went to
both of them. He was one of her best friends. She couldn’t not go.
As much as she didn’t want to see his body lying lifelessly in a
coffin, she had to go. Just like she had to go to his funeral. The
last time she would see him. Or his body, at least.
    He’d probably be added to the nightmares she was
currently having. She wondered how Derek would fit into her
dreams.
    As she was pondering this, there was a knock on her
door.
    “Yeah?” She called.
    “Sam? It’s John.” He said as he opened the door.
    “Hi.” She said.
    “You okay?” He asked.
    “I’ll be fine.” She answered. She started to clip
her hair half up, then changed her mind and let it fall around her
shoulders in a blonde cascade.
    John gave her a look; wordlessly asking why she
changed her mind.
    “If my hair’s down and I start to cry, I could
always hide it this way.” She said with a matter-of-fact tone.
    John didn’t say anything, just smiled sadly and
shook his head slightly. He gently grabbed her elbow walking her
out into the living room where Jason was waiting for them.

    “Thanks for coming with me.” Sam said to Jason. She
was sitting with him in the backseat of Craig’s car. John was
driving.
    “You’re welcome.” He said as he leaned down and
kissed the top of her head. “Wish we didn’t have to go at all.”
    “Me too.”
    Jason put his arm around her and she cuddled up to
him. Her blonde hair fell around her face but this time Jason left
it where it was.

    After a ride that was too long yet too short they
pulled up to the funeral home. Sam got out first and turned to help
Jason wobble out of the car. John came with them. They helped Jason
as he hobbled up the steps no one ever wanted to go up.
    “Sam!” a familiar voice called. She spun ever so
slightly so she didn’t drop Jason. Standing on the steps were
Shawn, Craig, Matt and Chris. Sam felt tears prick at the corners
of her eyes at the sight of them standing there. Ready and willing
to be there for her just like they always had been.
    The place was full, but not the way it was at the
wakes. At the wakes everybody that had ever met Derek showed up to
pay their respects. Then the place had a line to get in—now it was
just family and friends.
    Sam felt Jason squeeze her hand beside her. She
smiled slightly; glad to have Jason beside her through all of this.
Just like he’d been beside her her whole life. She was lucky that
he was there next to her now; that she didn’t lose him too.

    They found chairs towards the back with Juliana and
her parents. Juliana had healed well after the shooting. That was
the other thing in all of this. Derek was only nineteen. He was too
young to be dead. He was shot. Shot. He was murdered. In cold
blood. No reason whatsoever. The police caught the bastards that
did this to him. To all of them. John gave them the make, model and
license plate. The reason that they found the scum that did this.
And of course it was all over the papers. Everybody either stared
at Sam, Juliana, and Jason or asked if they were okay. Some
bold—and rude—people came right up to them and asked what it was
like to be a victim of a shooting. Sam could just barely deal with
people asking if they were okay, but those who asked about the
shooting she just had to walk away from.
    It was a drive-by shooting. The police said the men
who did this were drunk. They either did it for pure thrill or
perhaps a hate crime, the police had said. When Sam had asked “A
hate crime against what?” they had told her “The working class. It
happens ma’am.” The working class. What did the working class ever
do to them? And