Free I Am in Here by Elizabeth M. Bonker Page A

a reward for doing good things for others. Rather, when we take the risk of investing in the lives of others, we are engaging in the fundamental act of community building. We sow the seeds of compassion in the soil of our neighbors’ lives. When that soil bears fruit, it sustains us all. It is a life-giving cycle of mutual support. Our relationships are like a garden: the more we tend them, the more they grow.
    Â Â  A Bloom   
    Plant a garden,
    Watch it grow.
    The more you tend it,
    The more you will sow.
    People are like that as well.
    You have to remember
    To treat them well,
    And they too will grow
    And bloom for you.
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    Growth is a part of life: from the tiniest thing to the highest mountain.
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    With my flexible work schedule, I have been able to take Elizabeth to Austin for weeklong camps with Soma to improve her facility with the letterboard. These camps focus on academic lessons, but I always bring a list of questions because I yearn to hear Elizabeth’s thoughts. Elizabeth will type out short answers for me, longer ones with Terri, but she saves her deepest thoughts for Soma.
    When she was in third grade, Soma asked her, “How is school going for you?” She replied: “ School is not a good place some days. Other days it is fine. I can get so scared when I see other girls talking. I try hard, hard but can’t talk. I can’t say a thing and sometimes I freeze in front of the letterboard. I don’t like being watched. I am most of the time .” These are precious words for me, however difficult they are to hear. They give me a window into her silent world.
    Despite these personal challenges, Elizabeth continues to reach out to others through her poetry. Autism is derived from a Greek word meaning “self” because autism is associated with the person being self-absorbed. Upon meeting Elizabeth, you could easily interpret her silence and obsession with videos as self-absorption. Her poetry tells us the opposite is true.
    Â Â  Friends   
    My friends are there for me
    Just like it should be.
    Having a good time,
    Better friends you will not find.
    This is very dear to me
    Because I feel that I am free
    To be the way I want to be
    And still be liked, you see.
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    I finally have friends and I like it. To me a friend is someone who is kind. They accept me as I am and want to be with me anyway. To me, that is someone I can trust and rely on .
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    Elizabeth has the effect of drawing those around her out of their world of self-sufficiency and into a world of compassion and connectedness. In her poem “Compassion” at the beginning of this chapter, Elizabeth tells us to pray for each other because we are all carrying heavy loads. She looks beyond her own physical and mental burdens of autism and wants us to remember those who are sick, lonely, and hungry. Sometimes when I’m feeling sorry for myself, I remember that Elizabeth doesn’t dwell on her problems. She reaches out to others with compassion.
    In her poetry, Elizabeth expresses a sense of community and our shared humanity. She needs help with daily tasks such as buttoning her coat and tying her shoes, and she appreciates the help she receives.
    Â Â  Special People   
    I am so blessed.
    Whenever I am stressed
    There are people there for me.
    I can see
    Their love and support
    Surround me
    And I can face the world
    And all that it sends my way.
    I need to say “thank you.”
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    Being autistic in a mainstream classroom can be stressful and frustrating at times. I have been blessed with people who care about me and help me to work through my problems. I just want to say “thank you .”
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    When I feel all alone in the battle, I think about the special people in our lives and, like Elizabeth, I try to “ see their love and support surround me .” In addition to family and friends, two groups have provided great support to me in this autism battle: my