Free Life After Forty by Dora Heldt Page A
Authors: Dora Heldt
smoothed down her very short skirt and sat down. Her sweater, with its plunging neckline, stretched tightly over her bust. Her hair fell in all directions in a scraggly fashion, held by countless colorful hair bands.
She laughed, too loudly, and looked agitatedly around the group, as if assuring herself of our attention.
“Sorry, I had to really rush. The cab didn’t arrive, and then I couldn’t find my shoes. I asked Werner where he’d put them, but he’s not talking to me again.”
Franziska leaned over to me and whispered, “Oh God, no Werner stories, please, and next time let’s buy her some clothes that are two sizes bigger.” I nodded.
Anke’s husband Werner was twenty years older than her and the publishing manager of a large newspaper. I’d once run into them both at the book fair. Werner had treated his wife like a child, ordering her around and interrupting her, then giving her behind a benevolent pat. In return, Anke spent his money and slept with colleagues, either his or hers. She had a tendency to talk about her life and marital problems loudly and indiscreetly in public.
Now she was looking for the waitress and calling loudly for some Prosecco. Leonie looked over at me and raised her eyebrows.
Franziska took a deep breath, but before she could say a word, Eva and Judith came around the corner. Eva and her husband owned a bookshop and lived with their two children in a Hamburg suburb. Every one of us visited her on our business trips and liked her. Judith had just turned fifty, and she had been working the North German bookstores for twenty-six years. She had married a colleague, and both of them were very committed to the job. Their circle of friends consisted predominantly of publishers, authors, and press people. They spent their vacations in Tuscany, reading nonstop, drinking only Italian wine, and chain-smoking.
Breathing heavily, Eva sat down. “Judith was so punctual picking me up, but then my darling child starting acting up. She wanted Judith to read to her, and if it wasn’t for that we would have got here sooner.”
Judith treated Eva’s children as if they were her own; she was very fond of them. Suddenly Antje’s children came to my mind. I used to be very fond of them too, back then. I looked at the faces of the women around me. Apart from Leonie, none of them knew about the events of the last few months in my life. I didn’t really want to tell them either.
Judith was counting heads.
“Someone’s still missing, right? I made the reservation for nine people.”
“And you were right to, as always.” Luise sounded like a voice-over artist, but much more beautiful. Tall, graceful, black hair, classical features, always impressively dressed. She was the kind of woman who stood out for all the right reasons and was immediately the center of attention. She sat down on the empty chair next to me. Instantly, I felt fat, with bad skin and frumpy clothes.
“Hi, Christine.” Her green, perfectly made-up eyes fixed on me. “New hairdo I see—got rid of your man?”
Like a shot, the conversation around us fell silent. Seven pairs of eyes stared at me.
I summoned my courage and held Luise’s gaze.
“Yes.”
The silence was now a shocked one. Eva, probably sensing my discomfort, tried to salvage the situation.
“Are you staying at your sister’s again today? Didn’t the two of you come to our shop once?”
I looked at her.
“Yes, I’ve only got the one sister. But I’m not staying with her; I moved to Hamburg two months ago.”
Anke’s voice was piercing.
“How did none of us know about this? What happened? Have you met someone new? Tell us.”
She looked eager for gossip.
Franziska shot Anke a cutting look, then looked at me encouragingly. She raised her glass in my direction.
“So, welcome to the group. Now we’ll be able to meet up more often!”
Right then the waiter arrived to take our orders. The sound of chatter started up again. Luise touched my
She laughed, too loudly, and looked agitatedly around the group, as if assuring herself of our attention.
“Sorry, I had to really rush. The cab didn’t arrive, and then I couldn’t find my shoes. I asked Werner where he’d put them, but he’s not talking to me again.”
Franziska leaned over to me and whispered, “Oh God, no Werner stories, please, and next time let’s buy her some clothes that are two sizes bigger.” I nodded.
Anke’s husband Werner was twenty years older than her and the publishing manager of a large newspaper. I’d once run into them both at the book fair. Werner had treated his wife like a child, ordering her around and interrupting her, then giving her behind a benevolent pat. In return, Anke spent his money and slept with colleagues, either his or hers. She had a tendency to talk about her life and marital problems loudly and indiscreetly in public.
Now she was looking for the waitress and calling loudly for some Prosecco. Leonie looked over at me and raised her eyebrows.
Franziska took a deep breath, but before she could say a word, Eva and Judith came around the corner. Eva and her husband owned a bookshop and lived with their two children in a Hamburg suburb. Every one of us visited her on our business trips and liked her. Judith had just turned fifty, and she had been working the North German bookstores for twenty-six years. She had married a colleague, and both of them were very committed to the job. Their circle of friends consisted predominantly of publishers, authors, and press people. They spent their vacations in Tuscany, reading nonstop, drinking only Italian wine, and chain-smoking.
Breathing heavily, Eva sat down. “Judith was so punctual picking me up, but then my darling child starting acting up. She wanted Judith to read to her, and if it wasn’t for that we would have got here sooner.”
Judith treated Eva’s children as if they were her own; she was very fond of them. Suddenly Antje’s children came to my mind. I used to be very fond of them too, back then. I looked at the faces of the women around me. Apart from Leonie, none of them knew about the events of the last few months in my life. I didn’t really want to tell them either.
Judith was counting heads.
“Someone’s still missing, right? I made the reservation for nine people.”
“And you were right to, as always.” Luise sounded like a voice-over artist, but much more beautiful. Tall, graceful, black hair, classical features, always impressively dressed. She was the kind of woman who stood out for all the right reasons and was immediately the center of attention. She sat down on the empty chair next to me. Instantly, I felt fat, with bad skin and frumpy clothes.
“Hi, Christine.” Her green, perfectly made-up eyes fixed on me. “New hairdo I see—got rid of your man?”
Like a shot, the conversation around us fell silent. Seven pairs of eyes stared at me.
I summoned my courage and held Luise’s gaze.
“Yes.”
The silence was now a shocked one. Eva, probably sensing my discomfort, tried to salvage the situation.
“Are you staying at your sister’s again today? Didn’t the two of you come to our shop once?”
I looked at her.
“Yes, I’ve only got the one sister. But I’m not staying with her; I moved to Hamburg two months ago.”
Anke’s voice was piercing.
“How did none of us know about this? What happened? Have you met someone new? Tell us.”
She looked eager for gossip.
Franziska shot Anke a cutting look, then looked at me encouragingly. She raised her glass in my direction.
“So, welcome to the group. Now we’ll be able to meet up more often!”
Right then the waiter arrived to take our orders. The sound of chatter started up again. Luise touched my