Part 1
Dispur, Assam India 1979
For as far back as I can recall, my mother and father told me that if I won the attention of a powerful man, that my every wish would be fulfilled for the rest of my days.
My hands would never be rough from toil. My back would never know the pain of labor. My stomach would never rumble from emptiness. I would not fear. I would not want. I would live in grandeur and wealth. I could do anything I pleased with my time. And for all this, very little would be expected of me in return.
As wonderful as it seemed, even at a young age it somewhat unnerved me that I had been born into a plan. My parents had a clear vision of my future which they revealed to me in only vague terms. They made it seem as though my life would be a fairytale. I did not understand how they could know that.
In truth, I didn't know toil, pain, and hunger as it was anyway. My father owned a small farm where w orkers cultivated plants for the production of tea. My family wasn't obscenely wealthy by any means, but we had a comfortable place within the society of Dispur. I could not comprehend how life could ever be better. Because I had no knowledge of it ever being worse…
When I reached the third grade, I was removed from traditional schooling. I was advanced in my studies at that time already, and my parents said no further education would be necessary for me. I won't ever forget the last day when my mother arrived to take me home. Every other day, I walked home from school with my friend, and neighbor, Manu. I was surprised to see my mother there that day, and my heart began to pound. She spoke briefly with the teacher and then kindly told me to gather my belongings and come with her.
As my mother and I strolled home that day together, hand in hand, she told me I wouldn't be going back. My eyes filled with tears, and despite my efforts to conceal my pain, they eventually slid down my face in hot, dusty streaks. "But mother," I asked. "What about my friend, Manu?"
"What about him?" Mother replied harshly. "You'll not play with Manu any longer."
It would prove to be the last summer of my childhood. The last summer I ran free without responsibility, but severe restrictions were placed on who I kept company with. Though Manu lived only two doors down, my parents saw to it that we did not play together again. Manu and I cast sad glances upon each other occasionally when we passed in public, but that was all. And then, for all of August, after the worst storms of the summer had subsided, I didn't lay eyes on Manu at all. When I did see him again, something seemed different about him. Sad, shadowy eyes that avoided mine. Pale, thin. Rather wrong.
That was the fall I began attending a different school. It was a school for girls. No longer did I learn arithmetic and history. At this school, I was taught to bathe my skin with turmeric paste for a healthy glow. How to perfectly curl my shining black hair and to drape it around my flawless face. How to apply expensive makeups and perfumes. How to cover my skin with fine Henna tattoos. I learned etiquette and refined speech from my tutors. It was that fall I was first given a veil to wear over my face, and I was never again allowed to go into public with any part of my face showing other than my eyes.
Time seemed to slow down then. I was hopelessly bored and couldn't care less about makeup and hair; things that occupied grown women's time; not mine. I didn't bond with the other girls in the school, and I felt the loss of my friend Manu every day.
As soon as I reached puberty, my parents became even more distant and uninvolved with my life, outside of continuing to make sure I attended my studies at the finishing school. They also began imposing strict dietary restrictions and harsh exercises regimens upon me, to ensure that I maintained my appealing, svelte figure. By the time I was fifteen,