Free Punchline by Jacqueline Diamond Page A

body beneath his in the closet a few days ago, he hoped she wouldn’t hate it too much. Surely she could understand that men deserved a fair shake when it came to custody issues.
    Besides, emphasizing men’s fitness for parenthood also highlighted their responsibilities. And as for his thesis that men were superior, Belle was enough of a journalist to recognize the shock value of overstatement.
    Tapping his fingers on his mouse pad, Darryl contemplated the fact that he would be moving in with her tomorrow. He would have to make sure their relationship remained platonic. It was what they both wanted, after all.
    He still couldn’t figure out why he’d responded the way he had in the storage closet. Belle wasn’t the easygoingtype of woman toasted and celebrated in About Town. Moreover, her waistline was expanding rapidly.
    That was the odd thing. Instead of finding her less attractive as she burgeoned, Darryl found himself more drawn to her.
    She seemed to embody an essential life force that was, unexpectedly, proving more desirable to him than the glitzy sexuality displayed by centerfold models in skimpy swimsuits. But surely close proximity would soon dull the edge of her appeal.
    Darryl opened a new file in his computer to rough out an opening for his story. He tried a couple of titles, but “The Natural Superiority of Fathers” was the one that stuck.
    If he put it on the cover, it was eye-catching enough to insure expanded news-rack sales for the magazine. In order to justify such an outrageous title, though, he knew he needed an equally in-your-face opening to the story.
    His fingers began to tap.
    “Until the modern era, a woman played the leading role in only one theatrical-style production—her wedding,” he wrote. ‘Today’s female, however, has created a new showcase for herself. It’s called pregnancy.”
    What an opening paragraph! Darryl thought as he resumed his attack on the keys. Who could resist reading further?
    ‘‘What was once a private matter has been dragged onto center stage. Today’s woman and her expanding belly are applauded by an audience of ultrasound technicians, obstetricians, childbirth coaches and specialty shopkeepers. The man is relegated to a supporting role, if any.
    “It’s time someone told the truth. Gestating and delivering a baby are innate biological functions for which the mother deserves no more credit than the father. It’s something that happens to her, not something on which she should pride herself.”
    He let out a low whistle. A lot of women would be furious. But if they read further, they would discover that he had some valid points.
    “Our assumption that women are more fit to raise their offspring has led to an unfair system in which men are often denied the right to be parents. The result is unin-volved fathers, heartbroken children and, all too often, impoverished mothers.”
    With the names and details changed, he described how Jim had lost custody of his son. He emphasized the close bond between the two, and the unfairness of the wife’s decision to move away.
    Darryl pointed out that Jim had given up smoking during his wife’s pregnancy, but that she had not. Still, that wasn’t exactly evidence of superiority. He would need to dig up some better examples.
    Putting the article aside, he went back to editing other people’s writing. He would keep his eyes open for further anecdotes that would bear out the theme.
    A while later, Jim himself arrived with photographic proofs for an upcoming issue. Darryl showed his friend what he’d written and received an appreciative clap on the back in response.
    “If you want more examples, you should come to my noncustodial fathers’ support group,” said the photographer. “I’ve heard tales that made my beard curl.”
    “I’ll take all the help I can get.” They made a date for the following week.
    Then Greg came in to discuss changing the format for movie reviews. Before Darryl knew it, the day and