Free They Told Me I Had to Write This by Kim Miller Page B
Authors: Kim Miller
got some bad news this morning. Very bad news for us all.’ Everybody went kind of quiet. ‘The bad news is that Hamish died last night.’ We all just sat there looking at the Rev. Nothing happened.
I checked around the room. He wasn’t there. Everybody checked. He still wasn’t there. We kept glancing at each other.
Somebody said, ‘Bundy’s not here either,’ and that started off the yelling.
‘That can’t be true. Not Hamish.’
‘No way, man. That’s wrong.’
‘You better go check your bleedin’ facts, Rev, coz this is a bad place for a joke.’
‘Frak, man, that is so off.’
We got louder and louder and the yelling was coming from everybody until we filled that classroom with f-bombs.
Nick stood up quick and his desk went flying and he went for Mr German.
‘You blit-brain,’ he yelled. ‘You put them sentences up there on purpose and now look what’s happened to Hamish. Call yourself a teacher? You dunno dog-shit.’ Everybody shut up. I guess Kryptonite becomes a way of life.
It was the Rev who spoke. ‘Nick, what you said shows that you care about Hamish. We see that. We all feel it.’ The Rev spoke calm and gentle, but his eyes were about to give him up.
Nick sat down and his face went blank. By then we’d all ran out of something, I don’t know what. Those four starter sentences were looking down at us.
1. He felt great anguish in his heart.
2. With deep sadness he was pondering the mistakes of his youth.
3. Feather light and quiet as winter snow he takes his leave.
4. Silence or violence, are they the only two responses?
The Rev went on, ‘We don’t know all the details of how Hamish died, but we will learn more later in the day. And boys, all the noise and the yelling today is important. Sometimes it takes a lot of energy to show that we love somebody. Being that angry is a sign that you guys loved Hamish. But we will also have other ways to show our respect for him.’
Respect. Respect and love. That’s what the Rev reckoned our noise was all about.
And that is how we got the news of Hamish. The sentences never got anything written onto them, they just sat there, talking about somebody who was not there to read them.
They’re not starter sentences, are they? They’re ender sentences.
Clem needs some mercy today, that’s for sure.
Clem.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 4
HOW HAMISH DIED
Dear Gram
We got told about how Hamish died. He had a drug overdose and that’s the rotten truth. I never knew he even did drugs but some of the kids here brag about how they smoke dope and some of them bring it to school, but mostly it gets found. But Hamish didn’t die from dope, but from some other rotten stuff.
The reason that they didn’t tell us straight up was that the kid who sold it to him was Bundy and you know what I reckon about him and the Aprilia. Well, they took Bundy away and now he is in some youth remand centre and the coppers are all over him like a rash.
Hamish has a little brother who was also doing drugs but he didn’t die. This is so complicated and it’s no wonder that we all sat in that class on Monday and started to go crazy.
It is so hard to do anything about Hamish. When I get into session I am always going on about something, but now Hamish has died I sit doing nothing. Saying nothing. And I was too scared to ring up Violet and tell her because her mum and dad might set her off me but I did it anyway and I’m glad I did.
When I rang her up she was upset and she told her mum and dad that a friend of mine had died and they invited me to their place on the weekend if I wanted somewhere to chill out. But it’s Hamish who died and they feel sorry for me and that’s not right.
Anyway, there’s going to be a funeral but I don’t know anything about that yet. And you know what? I hardly even know what day it is and I had to ask and it’s Tuesday. Monday was yesterday but it feels like Monday is still happening. I think my brain has stopped.
Lunchtime a few of
I checked around the room. He wasn’t there. Everybody checked. He still wasn’t there. We kept glancing at each other.
Somebody said, ‘Bundy’s not here either,’ and that started off the yelling.
‘That can’t be true. Not Hamish.’
‘No way, man. That’s wrong.’
‘You better go check your bleedin’ facts, Rev, coz this is a bad place for a joke.’
‘Frak, man, that is so off.’
We got louder and louder and the yelling was coming from everybody until we filled that classroom with f-bombs.
Nick stood up quick and his desk went flying and he went for Mr German.
‘You blit-brain,’ he yelled. ‘You put them sentences up there on purpose and now look what’s happened to Hamish. Call yourself a teacher? You dunno dog-shit.’ Everybody shut up. I guess Kryptonite becomes a way of life.
It was the Rev who spoke. ‘Nick, what you said shows that you care about Hamish. We see that. We all feel it.’ The Rev spoke calm and gentle, but his eyes were about to give him up.
Nick sat down and his face went blank. By then we’d all ran out of something, I don’t know what. Those four starter sentences were looking down at us.
1. He felt great anguish in his heart.
2. With deep sadness he was pondering the mistakes of his youth.
3. Feather light and quiet as winter snow he takes his leave.
4. Silence or violence, are they the only two responses?
The Rev went on, ‘We don’t know all the details of how Hamish died, but we will learn more later in the day. And boys, all the noise and the yelling today is important. Sometimes it takes a lot of energy to show that we love somebody. Being that angry is a sign that you guys loved Hamish. But we will also have other ways to show our respect for him.’
Respect. Respect and love. That’s what the Rev reckoned our noise was all about.
And that is how we got the news of Hamish. The sentences never got anything written onto them, they just sat there, talking about somebody who was not there to read them.
They’re not starter sentences, are they? They’re ender sentences.
Clem needs some mercy today, that’s for sure.
Clem.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 4
HOW HAMISH DIED
Dear Gram
We got told about how Hamish died. He had a drug overdose and that’s the rotten truth. I never knew he even did drugs but some of the kids here brag about how they smoke dope and some of them bring it to school, but mostly it gets found. But Hamish didn’t die from dope, but from some other rotten stuff.
The reason that they didn’t tell us straight up was that the kid who sold it to him was Bundy and you know what I reckon about him and the Aprilia. Well, they took Bundy away and now he is in some youth remand centre and the coppers are all over him like a rash.
Hamish has a little brother who was also doing drugs but he didn’t die. This is so complicated and it’s no wonder that we all sat in that class on Monday and started to go crazy.
It is so hard to do anything about Hamish. When I get into session I am always going on about something, but now Hamish has died I sit doing nothing. Saying nothing. And I was too scared to ring up Violet and tell her because her mum and dad might set her off me but I did it anyway and I’m glad I did.
When I rang her up she was upset and she told her mum and dad that a friend of mine had died and they invited me to their place on the weekend if I wanted somewhere to chill out. But it’s Hamish who died and they feel sorry for me and that’s not right.
Anyway, there’s going to be a funeral but I don’t know anything about that yet. And you know what? I hardly even know what day it is and I had to ask and it’s Tuesday. Monday was yesterday but it feels like Monday is still happening. I think my brain has stopped.
Lunchtime a few of