the need to be close to her all the damn time. Fucking pussy.
When I was with Zoe, what I thought was love was really just lust and acceptance of the other. We had grown up together and after college we were still friends. One night of drunken sex was what started our relationship. We were both attracted to each other and knew everything about the other person so it just kind of worked. I was never in love with Zoe and her heart had always belonged to someone else. Apparently she had met her soul mate in college and I was the consolation prize. I found them in our bed together and wasn’t really all that angry about it. I was angrier that the man was in my bed getting my sheets dirty than where his dick was.
I had been without Payton for a total of two conscious hours and I already felt the need to be with her. I knew I was going to end up going to Vegas to try to find her, and in her book, she hinted at two bars which she frequented. I had to stay in town ‘til the next night so that Tristen and I could pay our respects to my sis. I could leave afterward and the flight was only an hour or so. I may still be able to catch her at a bar depending on how her night was going and how long it took me to get to her.
I wasn’t going to just swing by and let her know that I figured out who she really was. That would be too easy and I wanted to see her in action to really see how “Reece” was when she was in Vegas. Payton and Reece were two very different individuals and I was curious to see which side I liked more.
Chapter 6
Payton
The drive to Vegas usually involved me being overly excited and singing girl power songs at the top of my lungs. While it was a particularly boring drive with mountains surrounding me the majority of the time, I knew it would only be a few hours before my escape from reality started.
I knew I had to get away from Ryder. I was starting to feel too much for him. There was something about him that told me there was more to his story than he was letting on.
I hated that I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to cook dinner with him and wake up next to him after having mind-blowing sex and snuggling together as we fell asleep. I wanted to know who his friends were and what he did on Saturday mornings. That scared the hell out of me.
The drive usually helped clear my mind, but that time, I kept thinking more and more about a man I shouldn’t be with. I had only had one relationship before but it shouldn’t even be labeled a relationship. I wasn’t close to loving him but felt like I should try out dating just to see what all the hype was about. I wanted to be normal. After Ryan, I never felt the need to get into another relationship or have any of the guys from Vegas become more than flings. They were sweet but I rarely thought about them after I got back to San Diego.
It wasn’t about sex with Ryder. Let me rephrase…it wasn’t JUST about sex with Ryder. I knew I was falling for him and had no idea what I should do. I had been so good at being independent without having to think about anyone else. What scared me the most was that I wanted to let him know about me and my past. I wasn’t about to tell him about the non-children’s book I wrote, but I wanted him to know where I come from. The only other person who knew was Chloe and I hated when friends asked about my parents or my childhood.
Growing up for the first seven years of life, I never once felt wanted. When I was around four, I realized all the other foster kids were going away to permanent homes but I was still there. My foster parents weren’t bad people, but they didn’t love like parents should. I watched kid after kid get picked and I was left wondering when it would be my turn.
I didn’t find out why until I was twelve, when my adoptive parents told me that my mother was a murderer and my father was the victim. I was